A dark truth.

[magnetaress]

Grimm truth. DO NOT CLICK.


What "They've" Done To Us, And Is It The Same As G-32 Paxilon Hydrochlorate? (http://www.fireflyfans.net/mthread.aspx?bid=7&tid=62257)

Here is another PoV, more accepting of the Evil doings of shrinks.
And how a life on drugs can be viewed as normal.


https://ca.style.yahoo.com/anxiety-queen-buzzfeed-producer-changing-fa
ce-anxiety-000107288.html


Earlier this year, I hit an emotional brick wall.

For most of my life I’ve dealt with anxiety, depression and eating disorders. Although there have been rough patches, for most of my 20s I had been taking a medication that worked for me and seeing a therapist regularly. I felt good for the first time in a long time.

Everything changed when I had a panic attack unlike anything I had ever experienced before. There was no crying, no sweating; It didn’t look like a “normal” panic attack. I suddenly became completely detached from my surroundings, and felt as though I was dreaming. Nothing seemed real, and I froze, tense with the belief that I had officially lost my mind.

In late 2017, I was diagnosed with derealization and depersonalization, dissociative disorders that completely threw me for a loop. I became angry that after years of managing my depression and anxiety, they shape-shifted into something beyond my control. With the ringing in of the New Year, I threw my hands up in surrender and called for a time-out from life.



During a leave of absence from work, I fell into a YouTube video spiral and came across Kelsey Darragh, a producer at BuzzFeed whose videos have been streamed by millions of people around the world. The 28-year-old is funny, outgoing and charming, the “cool girl” you want to have drinks and swap wardrobes with; she also happens to be the only person I’ve ever come across who has experienced dissociative panic disorder.

In 2015, Darragh created a video for BuzzFeed for mental health awareness week, revealing her history with mental illness, specifically anxiety and panic disorder. In the video, Darragh describes her first dissociative panic attack when she was 17. “My Pill Journey” was the video that gave me goosebumps. Like me, Darragh was on an airplane when she had her first dissociative panic attack. I listened as she described feeling as though she was detached from her body, living in what she described as “a video game.”
Image via Getty Images.

I began following her content closely and was introduced to an entire online community that has been cultivated by Darragh’s willingness to share her story with the world.

While most people would be satisfied with the legions of social media followers and YouTube fame, Darragh is using her platform to create a dialogue about living with chronic pain and acting as an advocate for human rights and mental health. Through her content with BuzzFeed, her podcast, “Adult Sh1t,” and her clothing line that raises money for the National Alliance of Mental Illness, Darragh is the Anxiety Queen giving hope to an entire generation.

I spoke to Darragh while she was on vacation with her boyfriend at Orlando Studios in her home state of Florida. Like in her videos, Darragh is energetic and bubbly despite talking about some of the darkest times of her life. She’s eager to share her story, but never preaches about the one way to cope with mental illness. She just wants to talk about it, normalize it, and end the stigma that keeps so many people from getting help.

“It was this thing that followed me everywhere to the point where I was afraid to literally do anything,” Darragh said of her anxiety. “I became an agoraphobe and was so afraid to leave my house for months on end. I was too afraid to talk about it if I was dating someone new, I couldn’t tell my teachers about it. I would fake being sick all the time. I think I faked three grandmother’s funerals to cover up panic attacks because I was so desperate to have someone vouch for what I was going through. It was one of those things where people say, ‘just shake it off’ or ‘just wait it out’ but the things I was experiencing weren’t going away.”


In the 10 years that she’s been living with anxiety, Darragh was misdiagnosed as bipolar, and saw firsthand the dangers of Big Pharma, as doctors freely wrote prescriptions for numerous psychiatric drugs. Despite her struggles, she credits therapy, doing her own research, and social media sites like Twitter and Tumblr with helping her make sense of her illness.

“The internet was a big part in finding the confidence to talk about it (anxiety) because at that point, I knew I wasn’t the only person that was going through this.”


Over time, Darragh learned to take living with anxiety “day by day” and became more open with the people in her life about her mental health. When she began working at BuzzFeed, a place she calls “open and understanding,” she felt ready to create content that reflected her experiences with anxiety.

“I knew I had to be a fire starter amongst people my age for it to happen. It was scary as hell. I thought I was going to be judged,” she recalled. “I wondered if I was doing this right and giving justice to the topic. I didn’t know. I wasn’t cured, but there was an insane fire within me, maybe it was anxiety, that was pushing through it. I knew that if I didn’t start talking about it publicly I would have gone ‘crazy.’”

The response to her video, “My Pill Journey” was overwhelming. When asked if she had set out to become a mental health advocate and activist, I could almost hear Darragh shaking her head on the other end of the phone.

“I had no idea the response I was going to get,” she said laughing. “So many people reached out to me and said, ‘This is my story, this is my journey.’ There was so much support and connection that I received. I had no choice!”

Darragh suddenly became a go-to person for young people, in need of advice and guidance.



“I would always say, ‘I’m not a doctor, I’m still figuring my own stuff out.’ But I knew I could be supportive and a voice with the platform that I have, and the following I have,” she said. “It’s the least i can do. If I don’t use my platform for that, then this is a waste.”

The YouTuber received a tidal wave of attention in May of this year after she shared a list she created of ways her boyfriend, music producer and DJ Jared Lucas a.k.a. Kap Slap, can help her during a panic attack. It was retweeted more than 12,000 times and was picked up by news outlets internationally.


The list included tips like, “Find my meds if they’re nearby and make sure I take it,” and “Know that I’m scared and won’t be able to explain why, so please don’t freak out or be annoyed with me.”

“After that list came out,I just thought I would put it out there for everyone to see because I wish i had this in my early 20s and teens,” she explained. “I wish I could have given this to my parents and my friends — and thought maybe people can give me tips, too.”

When Darragh talks about her partner, she touches briefly on the very real fear that many people with anxiety and mental health issues have about dating: That anxiety and depression make you unloveable, that it’s too much for a partner to handle.

“I’m lucky that he was even able to understand it, and listen to it and it didn’t turn him away from the relationship,” she said. “He was just like. ‘Oh, ok. It’s just a part of you. I’ve got weird stuff about me too.”

The list became a resource, not only for Darragh and her partner, but for the thousands of people online who joined in on the conversation and started conversations of their own with the people in their lives.

“I was so embarrassed I wasn’t able to articulate what was happening to me at the time. After that list came out, I just thought I would put it out there for everyone to see because I wish i had this in my early 20s and teens. I wish i could have given this to my parents and my friends — and thought maybe people can give me tips, too.”

Whenever talking to anyone with mental health issues, the subject of taking medication can quickly become a story swap between war buddies who lived to tell the tale. Darragh is open and honest about how she stopped taking all medications nearly two years ago when she began getting weekly acupuncture treatments as a form of alternative medicine.



“I always tell people that I’m not on medication but I absolutely 100 per cent believe in the power of medication,” she said, noting that medication has benefitted her in the past. “I absolutely needed that medication. I would not have functioned, I probably wouldn’t have survived without it. I always tell people that whatever works is fine – so long as it’s not harmful to you or someone else. If it’s video games, working out, going to the movies — whatever makes you feel better, just do it.”
Image via Instagram/Kelsey Darragh.

Despite her stance on not taking daily antidepressants, Darragh told me that she does carry Klonopin with her — just in case she suddenly experiences a panic attack.

“I’ve learned with panic disorder that a panic attack can’t last forever,” she told me. “The sooner I can nip it in the bud, the better. If breathing exercises work then I’ll do that, but if Klonopin is going to take it out the fastest then, girl — you best believe I’m taking a Klonopin! I’m not going to consider myself a failure for taking it. I’m not going to consider it a set back.”

In talking to Darragh, I was reminded of the feelings I had when I first watched her videos and began listening to her podcasts: There is hope for people living with anxiety. It’s been just over a year since I had my first dissociative panic attack, and while they do occur less frequently now, I can’t help but go back to feeling like I’ve gone “crazy.”

“I’m trying to make peace with those days,” she told me. “My way of finding relief is to have someone, an internet stranger, my mom or anyone say, ‘I’ve been there.”

Girl, I’ve been there.

We ended our call by talking about the future, what we feel needs to be done to help people living with mental health issues. It turns out the answer begins with talking and sharing our stories.

“No matter the age, race or gender – we should be able to have a non-judgmental conversation about anxiety and recognize that it affects different races and different classes in different ways,” she said. “There needs to be affordable treatment options for people. It should be a priority. Having visibility about anxiety from a place of love rather than judgement because it’s a scary thing to talk about. But if you come from a place of love with these conversations, it helps. Being believed and having conversations is the bare minimum we can do.”

While my journey with sharing my story about anxiety is just beginning, Darragh is formulating plans to help promote alternative forms of therapy, and shine light on the problem of pharmaceuticals in the United States.



“Western medicine is slowly starting to come to the realization that Eastern medicine – yoga, acupuncture and mindfulness has something to it. Pushing that message is something that I wish I had available to me earlier. Pushing that narrative is my next big goal.”

We said our goodbyes and promised to stay in touch. Darragh went back to her vacation and I sat making notes in an empty conference room about our conversation.

Anxiety manifests itself differently for so many people, it’s impossible to paint everyone’s experience with the same brush. To have people like Kelsey Darragh, who is successful and vibrant share her experience with the world helps not only further the conversation of mental health, but helps those struggling to remember that there is hope.

I walked away knowing that even on my very worst days, there’s at least one other person in the world who knows how I’m feeling. Our conversation was honest and brief, but on that day it was enough.



SSRIs, Seretogenic antidepressants. Trigger mass violence, murder, suicides.

Depressants, pain meds, and sedatives alone are much safer. Almost no incidence. However sedatives are extremely dangerous in combination with antidepressants.

Prozac is quite obviously the most dangerous drug proscribed.

P.s. some good stuff about lead in there.

There's a lot more to this story. This is just a tiny tip of the iceberg. There's many non drug related comorbiditties and other circumstances involved.

My personal experience with Prozac and SSRIs are absolutely proof these drugs are 900x dangerous than any other classic sedative or painkiller.

The psychologists can't really help.

The psychiatrists just push the latest pill with the most popular side effects or deliberately proscibe the wrong meds in order to trigger suicides.

The WHO, VA, Department of Health and Human Services are all in on it pushing the most dangerous mass murder pills instead of the tried and true. They are prescribing Seretogenic meds for "insomnia".

This is what my current psychiatrist is hung up on.

Phone is going down. I wish you all wellbeing. Ttl.

BTW this guy ridicules the girl with the Klonopin, but it's the only safe option in moderation with OTHER treatments, like yoga,etc, safety from predators etc. He's on the other side and lost his soul in pure hatred and anger. But his research and premise bares merit.

[Jibartik]

ZRDpC_QYG5k

[GinnasP99]

I haven't been to a doctor in over ten years. I'm in the best shape of my life too.

[HalflingSpergand]

Most people take antidepressants , almost everyone u see

[GinnasP99]

Does drinking alcohol on occasion and smoking weed count ?

[magnetaress]

I don't want war.

I want people to open their minds, stop taking sides, and seek the truth. That doctors and governments are not safe, that our systems create the monsters. That people are being murdered because of liability and statistics for the sake of GREED and class warfare.

I don't want any of that.

I want to be able to chip in and help. And TO FREELY DEFEND MYSELF.

Does drinking alcohol on occasion and smoking weed count ?

Pretty safe. Long term liver, lung disease, and increased obesity maybe. Not in every case. Some people use their peace to climb away from their weed and alcohol dependence. They are less permanent. Less addictive. Better side effects.

I started with booze tho. Thats what I did to manage in the military.

[magnetaress]

Most things don't kill us in moderation.

Lithium, Prozac, and SSRI, antidepressants cause long term permanent damage and serotonin regulation problems. Permanent dependence. Disregulation.

Other stuff may be addictive, but it's easier to recover once you get a job, home, life, security. Independence. Yoga. Surfing etc.

[Jibartik]

I went to the doctor because of anxiety and he told me to take up smoking.
-1950

[imperiouskitten]

i gave lithium a try once in hard times and it was WACK and upon quitting i had the most incredible mania, couldnt sleep more than 4 hours wherein i sleepwalked and woke up in somebody else's clothes. too heavy

[magnetaress]

Lithium was when I experienced Seritonen Toxicity as a kid. They pumped me with crazy amounts of it when I was only like eight. I puked all over tremors, fever. Was absolutely disgusting until they switched meds and changed doses. I remember my mom and dad yelling and fighting with each other that insurance didn't cover the right brand and I was stuck with a generic that was absolutely dangerous. It's amazing I survived. Yes, that's the wonderful childhood that led to a suicide attempt at like 10.

I'm not making this up. The psychiatric industry is absolutely abhorrent. Yes, I was also a childhood risk. They had me fantasizing about real dumb fucking stuff.

Drugs that fuck with serotonin are absolutely just "best practice mkultracraft".

[magnetaress]

Anyway I developed an intense resistance to drug induced mania, thats how I tolerated really high doses of buproprion in 2018-19. When I went through my Irulan, Clevergirl phase here.

I'm really self aware and sensitive to those effects. Like I know when my Seritonen is edging towards that really awful childhood moment of Lithium poisoning.

[magnetaress]

I know I talked a ton of shit about the wellbutrin, buproprion, but I was on a furious mission to get fit and was preparing for war. So I focused all that insane mania into fixing myself and cleaning house, running, and juicing up my glutes and squats. It was unsustainable though, once I hit my goals I ended up right back in the ANXIETY trap. Pretty much experienced what was quoted with that derealization, complete psychotic break when I had to chose to go through with my plans.

Ended up in pure animalistic survival mode.

[Cecily]

Yep... I'm so fucking thrilled to be headed towards psych nursing. Bad feeling about pushing this shit on people. Antipsychotic side effects are scary AF and I cannot believe they give that shit to human beings.

[imperiouskitten]

i still like lexapro tho ! lifesaver and i never even did a big dose.

[magnetaress]

Yep... I'm so fucking thrilled to be headed towards psych nursing. Bad feeling about pushing this shit on people. Antipsychotic side effects are scary AF and I cannot believe they give that shit to human beings.

The few really kind and wise humans who cared for me, even during my last horrific stay at the ward, got me to stop trying to kill myself and start facing all this from a more holistic and less drug centric viewpoint.

The Seroquel let me sleep some my first few months out, and that isolation gave me time to think. I'm one of the really lucky ones though and I have the power to recognize and stop the self harm.

IF I can talk about it and find ways to calm down without being fighty or "upset".

Having really cool headed peeps around who listen and understand is the best medicine. Take heart in that at least. I hope.

[magnetaress]

i still like lexapro tho ! lifesaver and i never even did a big dose.

At low doses and not just relying on the drug to feel good this stuff can help. That's why it's effective at getting people moving. Out of despair.

In severe, acute, extreme, exceptional cases like mine. Reavers happen.

That's were the joke that

G-23 Paxilon Hydrochlorate or "Pax" (Latin for "Peace") was a chemical compound added to the air processors in order to pacify the populace, by the Union of Allied Planets. An Alliance research team on Miranda discovered that the Pax was effective with 99.9% of people.

Comes in.

I really believe in this case I'm in that 0.01% bracket.

I was on paxil, imipramine.

Sertraline. I think that's Prozac, just I've been on a few of each class.

Because I self harm and isolate they try to force me back out with antidepressants.

Buspar and Buproprion are specifically indicated for anxiety and worked the best. Buspar in combo with a very light antidepressant.

But they are unsustainable. They build up on me and eventually feedback into mania, and in the case of Buspar really weird side effects.

[magnetaress]

The other way psychiatry fails in many jurisdictions is because of overpopulation and understaffing. In patient psychiatry tends to scare people away. It doesn't provide people a safe place to go. And if they do go they are often just baby sat and offered no real alternatives to the drugs. No yoga. No art therapy. No teaching people how to journal. The only thing that the VA had going for it was good church service, but even that got canceled do to covid.

I stayed out of the hospital this last month after being deeply triggered in part because the hospital was not a safe place to go.

That put myself and everyone else around me at insane risk. Last month could have ended really poorly under slightly different circumstances.

Thems are the facts.

[Bardp1999]

Didn't read but reeks of a cry for help. Get well soon princess

[imperiouskitten]

called u princess he thirstin

[magnetaress]

/firmed.

Man, America can't even feed its people. Shit is wack.

[magnetaress]

Bump. Cuz a lot more just bit the dust.

1) lock up guns, in a safe or with trigger locks, red flag ppl
2) stop child abuse, life sentence, or death for the abuser
3) stop fucking up survivors and abused kids
4) stop punishing and blaming survivors and honest people
5) stop treating anxiety and ptsd with off label drugs ​and antipsychotics with horrific side effects
6) reform mental institutions make them safe and provide long term inpatient care with regular patient advocacy and legal representation instead of shoving ppl in prisons for punching someone (probably punching an asshole)
7) stop pushing ssri and seratogenic drugs while ignoring peoples problems
8) punish assholes, not the people punishing the assholes, assholes need to lose freedom
9) stop spreading misinformation or covering up the truth, lookin atchu Google and Facebook
10) reward integrity and honor instead of deciet
11) stop treating drug users and poor ppl like violent criminals and undesirable pests
12) it's a fucking start

[imperiouskitten]

Bump. Cuz a lot more just bit the dust.

1) lock up guns, in a safe or with trigger locks, red flag ppl
2) stop child abuse, life sentence, or death for the abuser
3) stop fucking up survivors and abused kids
4) stop punishing and blaming survivors and honest people
5) stop treating anxiety and ptsd with off label drugs ​and antipsychotics with horrific side effects
6) reform mental institutions make them safe and provide long term inpatient care with regular patient advocacy and legal representation instead of shoving ppl in prisons for punching someone (probably punching an asshole)
7) stop pushing ssri and seratogenic drugs while ignoring peoples problems
8) punish assholes, not the people punishing the assholes, assholes need to lose freedom
9) stop spreading misinformation or covering up the truth, lookin atchu Google and Facebook
10) reward integrity and honor instead of deciet
11) stop treating drug users and poor ppl like violent criminals and undesirable pests
12) it's a fucking start

but no ubi becuz most ppl deserve to rot and die, right? i mean u profess urgently that u really think that so whats the post about really. working as intended no?

[magnetaress]

but no ubi becuz most ppl deserve to rot and die, right? i mean u profess urgently that u really think that so whats the post about really. working as intended no?

I'm not against UBI if you think it will work. And it's feasible. I wouldn't lose my shit if it got done right.

UBI and the status quo though? Lol. People will just spend it on drugs, guns. And food that makes them sick. We really do need to seriously 2-7.

Pm. Me if you want to get serious but I know exactly, personally, what it takes to beat 2-4 and not be turned into a mass murderer. UBI wouldn't have helped. My family was quite rich and privileged. Survival wasn't the issue. Systemic greed and cultural attitudes were. But thats going to be different for each, what contributed my abuse wasn't the same as other peoples. In. Some cases alcoholism. In some simple spirituality and purpose would have made the difference. My family had access to professional high quality drugs and used them. Airplanes. Multiple properties. Fancy vacations. The internet all back prior to others as it all happened. I was going to nice schools too. Had a computer when I was 13 with Microsoft space simulator. Nintendo the very year it came out. I went to church.

The social and moral decay and trauma of my grandfathers generation and fathers generation and the general theft and corruption and graft soured the sweet and abundant milk and honey.

The only good things in my youth were the boys scouts, church. My very high class elementary school.. Christian neighbors. And the care and compassionate teaching of nurses at all children's. The doctors were luciferian trolls in disguise doing pharmacological science on children.

UBI would have resulted in a few extra vacations and way more contact with my abuser. I think it could have made it worse. Especially since my abuser was thankfully gone on long business trips. Him being there wouldn't have worked. The many times police came nothing good happened and they threatened my mother who wouldn't let them process me into hell.

I was a really sweet sensitive, clean, dutiful moral kid. I just cried a lot. And took the beatings so my mom wouldn't. Society is shit tho. No one fucking cares about domestic violence the #1 indicator of a mass killing even though the media often covers that up. And of a wasted life and suicide. Or reckless behavior like drunk driving that kills multiple. It can all practically be traced back to neglect, abuse, narcissism in a parent or parents. And a family isolated from its community and a state that didnt get involved because "muh rights". I know it's horrible to incarcerate 1 older male and strip them of freedom but if it stopped the abuse or broke the cycle. The sacrifice would be worthy and the older already broken male could be rehabilitated, through the community. Maybe. But they'd need to be serious.

There's good things that UBI could have helped but people have to know, be able, have access to them. Those programs, schools rehab would probably be moved on goalposts out of reach and without a reward for being good and doing better. People would just buy another car for the landfill.

That isn't too say that 15% or so may not benefit immensely from UBI and make good choices or that it wouldn't provide poor people safer communities and opportunities. But ppl have to pool their resources and buy that wearhouse and turn it into a multistory hydroponic automated veg garden or arts school or church. The possibilities are endless. So is individual potential. Our collective humanity and vain glorious prejudicial hedonistic culture isn't.

People snap because of years if not decades of being put down and ignored and manipulated by the only people that give them attention, other sadists, extremists. Those people can change and develop empathy but not on reddit battles with other broken violent angry souls and at the drugstore.

Hope this helps. I am very serious. Pm. Me and I will remind you of the details of my time with the knife pressed into my neck and the consequences to a family. If we aren't already vicariously living it through deaths biology or spirituality. What we think of as quantum entanglement.. BTW perp looked just like Runlvl and my father during one of his assaults. I'm not apologizing. It was, is too late. The next one will look like someone else.

There's no single hammer that we can throw at life. Or hardship. Or brain damage. Disease. Hate. Lust. My list is just a shortlist of the most critical. Feel free to put UBI on there somewhere if you believe in it or support it.

It'd probably be in the top 20 for me. It would maybe avert a few immediate crisis but not mitigate them all if prioritized near the top. We'd eventually adjust, but clever people could use it. Just like clever people make do with anything. Do better with opportunity. We need more clever people working together for UBI to collectively improve us.

The people pulling the trigger at these crime scenes are not clevergirls.

[magnetaress]

Ubi also could technically fall into like 7, 7a or 7b, 7c. I can think of 7a: health, 7b purpose, 7c UBI, or reverse those

7a) ubi
7b) purpose
7c) health

Because those are related. UBI is just Maslow's hierarchy of needs to me.

If you're a UBI tru believer that's my suggestion.

I'm still very skeptical of UBI because there IS plenty on this earth. I have money. It's doing me no good. Poison and health. I'm doing what I can but many others aren't even able to be simply aware yet.

[Nexii]

UBI would let people get away from their abusers. Often times they stay for financial reasons.

[Cecily]

Yeah I don't see ubi fixing my life and can't really imagine mental health care reform because it would take a total system overhaul and I don't think any of us are the new freud. I do have big hopes for fecal transplants / microbiome research leading to real mental illness treatments though. In the mean time

[magnetaress]

@Cecily plz don't buy a gun

[magnetaress]

UBI would let people get away from their abusers. Often times they stay for financial reasons.

This would be my hope as well. That is so hard. Especially when family dynamics come into play and for children.

My mom could have financially separated but dad, grandparents threatened us with custody battles. So she decided to be there in my life. Rather than leave me completely alone at the mercy of my tormenter.

My grandmother was a good influence but the oof of being left alone with my father was tempting fatality.

[imperiouskitten]

UBI and the status quo though? Lol. People will just spend it on drugs, guns. And food that makes them sick. We really do need to seriously 2-7.

honestly don't think so. it always comes back to hatred with you. anyway, if you gave people on the economic low end the possibility of free time to cook for themselves, it is entirely possible and indeed likely that they would do so.

I know you haven't worked in a long time / ever but trust me, it's the long-hour grind that forces many conscientious ppl into the fast food line. Also UBI in my mind rolls along roughly at the same time with health care availability for ppl in that income bracket outside of the northwest, so spending all money on street drugs becomes less of a thing as the pressure of literally having a gun to your head to work a rigidly defined 40 hour job dissipates and one can treat their acktchyual issues, or get their opiates for pennies in a program instead of shipping thousands and thousands to cartels and upstream to Afghani poppy field CIA handlers. Or you know, just quit, since they'd be able to find the time to hole up and fix their shit without experiencing constant mortal terror about the falling-out bottom of their life...which covers plenty of them, as much as you love to zoom in on the nihilistic unfixables you hate so much.

Nexii also alludes to the major deal, maybe the main everyday problem which generates the greatest total psychic turmoil, the petty tyrannies that the militant starvation employment enforcement system inflict at every single level of hierarchy. the abuse, the rape, the years spent listening to screaming. the insane busybody landlady. the 16yo queer hottie who winds up HIV+ after parental ejection. all violence abstracted through pure capitalism's perfidiously restrictive mechanisms of resource distribution, which are themselves a very obvious abstraction of the law of the jungle including good old slavery. when there is plenty to eat and houses standing empty, and every dollar is imaginary and printing trillions of them demonstrably does not even affect inflation because you're the world empire.

All the worst of our economic system is very obviously mitigated dramatically if it becomes possible to eat and shelter without assimilating to a post-industry 40-hr coffee stand job where you sell coffee to the other coffee stand workers on their break in a big old soviet-style make-work resource shuffle, except the overseer is constantly threatening to ship you to siberia to starve for long bathroom breaks.

BUt yeah uh, we can acknowledge all that and just do nothing too, because them drug users are so gross n shit. Reagan 2024. And write 700 more words after that to try to habilitate it. Lol. Hatred and inward-looking, it's two of a kind and both miserable :rolleyes: :cool::cool: :eek:

[Jibartik]

here is the next 7 years:

Hyper inflation
Banning of crypto because terrorism/fear of crime
UBI
everyone is beheaded
jesus shows up!

Big party

[Nexii]

This would be my hope as well. That is so hard. Especially when family dynamics come into play and for children.

My mom could have financially separated but dad, grandparents threatened us with custody battles. So she decided to be there in my life. Rather than leave me completely alone at the mercy of my tormenter.

My grandmother was a good influence but the oof of being left alone with my father was tempting fatality.

Well that's another problem. Minors are treated like property rather than having any agency on what family member(s) they would rather live with.

[imperiouskitten]

im just larping out some frustration because i am heinously sick, so dont be mad :p i'm right tho of course, Reagan's welfare queen meme still dictates your entire political pov magnetaress :o it's literally the only thing you have to say about politics or economics, ever. I think u should think about that. It always comes back to how some people will still fuck up no matter how lucky. like, we know. Just try putting that one single thought down for a little while, maybe think about others, like people who aren't a locus for your hatred.

As one poster alluded to, UBI will not immediately fix the lives of ppl with oppositional defiant disorder, psychosis or parapsychosis, profound spiritual/ethical problems which are actively reinforced by the person out of a hatred or nihilism whose source seems boundless and infinite and unexplainable, fanatical adherence to poisonous ideology, or other deeply entrenched mental illnesses & fatal, lifelong character flaws. Nothing can help that person but God, in time, almost certainly with an awful lot of suffering. Perhaps even more suffering than can be had in one lifetime. No political measure will rescue those people and make them whole.

But imagine the same person growing up in a less tortured world. With parents, grandparents, or even great ancestors who were freer to associate with whom they chose, and less rigidly guided by their nearness to starvation. Surrounded by people who were less stressed, who didnt need to fret about anything more immediate than maybe getting sick or something. With the freedom to invest in themselves exactly as they intend, without having to stop for 10 years to have their brains chopped & screwed by torturous wage-slaving that drove them into the arms of drugs, or hurtful ideology, or an abusive partner who could offer more security. Who could take the time to experience the big things that can't be had without months or years free from grinding away, if their spiritual development so required.

it's a profoundly bigger question than what would flat-billed hat-wearing floridian oxy addicts do, oh I bet it would be extra gross. profoundly bigger

[Skarne]

Lithium was when I experienced Seritonen Toxicity as a kid. They pumped me with crazy amounts of it when I was only like eight. I puked all over tremors, fever. Was absolutely disgusting until they switched meds and changed doses. I remember my mom and dad yelling and fighting with each other that insurance didn't cover the right brand and I was stuck with a generic that was absolutely dangerous. It's amazing I survived. Yes, that's the wonderful childhood that led to a suicide attempt at like 10.

I'm not making this up. The psychiatric industry is absolutely abhorrent. Yes, I was also a childhood risk. They had me fantasizing about real dumb fucking stuff.

Drugs that fuck with serotonin are absolutely just "best practice mkultracraft".

YOU just don't know the history of psychiatry, I do. There is no such thing as a chemical imbalance in the body. Psychiatry is a pseudoscience. Magnetaress Magnetaress, you don't even- you're glib. You don't even know what Ritalin is. If you start talking about chemical imbalance, you have to evaluate and read the research papers on how they came up with these theories, Magnetaress, OK. That's what I've done.

[magnetaress]

honestly don't think so. it always comes back to hatred with you. anyway, if you gave people on the economic low end the possibility of free time to cook for themselves, it is entirely possible and indeed likely that they would do so.

I know you haven't worked in a long time / ever but trust me, it's the long-hour grind that forces many conscientious ppl into the fast food line. Also UBI in my mind rolls along roughly at the same time with health care availability for ppl in that income bracket outside of the northwest, so spending all money on street drugs becomes less of a thing as the pressure of literally having a gun to your head to work a rigidly defined 40 hour job dissipates and one can treat their acktchyual issues.

Nexii also alludes to the major deal, maybe the main everyday problem which generates the greatest total psychic turmoil, the petty tyrannies that the militant starvation employment enforcement system inflict at every single level of hierarchy. the abuse, the rape, the years spent listening to screaming. the insane busybody landlady. the 16yo queer hottie who winds up HIV+ after parental ejection. all violence abstracted through pure capitalism's perfidiously restrictive mechanisms of resource distribution, which are themselves a very obvious abstraction of the law of the jungle including good old slavery.

All the worst of our economic system is very obviously mitigated dramatically if it becomes possible to eat and shelter without assimilating to a post-industry 40-hr coffee stand job where you sell coffee to the other coffee stand workers on their break in a big old soviet-style make-work resource shuffle, except the overseer is constantly threatening to ship you to siberia to starve for long bathroom breaks.

I over came hatred. You don't see it yet. But it's not about fear/hatred. It's about healing, curing, nurturing, protection.

All authority, discipline, order, doesn't stem from control fear or hatred.

Otherwise I pretty much agree. I'm sorry you think I am hateful and dismiss me out of hand for that.

How many tears do I need to shed and how many times must I sacrifice die, or kill myself and pass through the eye of the needle weaving the tapestry of time to prove this? You haven't been here with me. Stop judging me by the screams of 2010.

It seems like you're afraid to take action against an abuser. Not even through the state. I am not saying to torment them. God have mercy on their souls. I don't think people can survive alone. Or heal alone. We aren't creatures born fully formed and programmed. We are all forcefully bound in eachother collectively through nature. Mothers milk. Our childhood firends. The immaterial nature of our spirits. Discussed in detail in another thread. Abusers must be cared for like children and sick lions. Not out of fear, but because we don't let our babies rot in lesions and rabies. And live a life of terror, inflicting terror on others. This is what has been brainwashed into us by Satanists and the occult and moraly bankrupt. We need to face our imperfection and treat ourselves and our children collectively with care and compassion. Not apathy and not wash our hands of responsibility and duty. We cannot hand babies sugary money snacks and then expect and demand they do better. Only by caring for them individually and collectively and teaching them and growing them into responsibility and love can someone like me or my father be healed.

Look. I am healed, spiritually. My heart is pure. Don't put me down because my experiences and words, and feelings make you uncomfortable. Please think about it. You say you were never abused. You are judging me by that measure and the last thing I want is for you or anyone to suffer like I have. You have absolutely no idea if the situation and person I'm talking about and how to handle it humanly.

You said a mate abused you. But you got away. I helped you. You may not realize it, but I helped you become aware, and my compassion and strength was given to you. I remember talking to you. I gave you some really good advice that helped take you where you are now. Not once did I say to fight him. Or engage him. Or submit to him. You needed more help than I could give.

I lived that before learning how to talk, count, or think for myself. My first memories are of abuse that would have destroyed you. And that did destroy me.

To say and do nothing and to give no future generations any forewarning or wisdom would be horrific. Yet I opened myself to the hatred of others. To ridicule. To be dismissed out of hand. Out of love and caring and a desire to be nothing like my abuser and his enablers.

I would hope without me you would have had a good life. That you wouldn't need to stare into this mirror. However this is who and wear we are. And I am comically bound in that. I'm a part of you. You're here with me, and I here with you.

You've helped. Your criticism helps. Your judgment helps. This post I feel good about. Is it enough? I hope so. I don't want to be in charge. My suggestions are simply that. I believe that what I've shared is important and in some small way. Changes us. For the better. Headed. Ignored. Accepted. Rejected.

It's time for me to step back now.

[magnetaress]

YOU just don't know the history of psychiatry, I do. There is no such thing as a chemical imbalance in the body. Psychiatry is a pseudoscience. Magnetaress Magnetaress, you don't even- you're glib. You don't even know what Ritalin is. If you start talking about chemical imbalance, you have to evaluate and read the research papers on how they came up with these theories, Magnetaress, OK. That's what I've done.

Those imbalances aren't necessarily genetic or essential or innate. If you don't remove the stress or organism from the stress. Pumping them with drugs can help, sometimes the organism can react in a positive way. But when a child is being assaulted and abused. No amount of medication is enough and can kill them. The side effects of every drug get severe and just add to the suffering and loss of self worth abused people suffer.

In a lot of cases healthy food and environment is sufficient. When I went to all children's the doctors said that I honeymooned. Miraculously got better.

Thats because the abuse stopped. For the first time in my life I wasn't getting sat on and screamed at and cornered, and beaten by a 250lb crazy person. So they pumped me with meds until I couldn't tolerate the side effects, adjusted them and sent me home, an innocent fucking child. A sweet sensitive caring child. Home to my abuser sick on drugs. The rest is hell. Until I got away and escaped into the military.

God damn. I am so incredibly fucking lucky and resilient and because of my female brain. I survived what was impossible and became a force of wisdom and spiritual growth.

Drugs can help. But they are virtually useless when prescribed in a profit motivated spiritual and moral vacuum to cure symptoms instead of the stress and poison and helplessness and manipulation causing the illnesses and imbalances.

People are resilient. They can heal. But not if you shove a jar of Seroquel or Lithium at them and put them back at the mercy of someone else's psychotic behavior.

One of the major side effects of Lithium is thyroid dysfunction. That is an absolute death sentence in our modern world. It's a slow horrific death of ridicule that leads to worse diseases. Especially for females.

Psychiatry has helped me some. On the whole it's caused some severe damage and trauma. Some of which I'm still healing. Wellbutrin lead directly to suicide. Other drugs, horrific hallucinations as a child. And we aren't letting science and medicine do the psychiatry. No, now proceeded, laws, liability, and statistics driven by sales and side effects do the psychiatry.

[Nexii]

YOU just don't know the history of psychiatry, I do. There is no such thing as a chemical imbalance in the body. Psychiatry is a pseudoscience. Magnetaress Magnetaress, you don't even- you're glib. You don't even know what Ritalin is. If you start talking about chemical imbalance, you have to evaluate and read the research papers on how they came up with these theories, Magnetaress, OK. That's what I've done.

Yea for all modern psychology/psychiatry proclaims to be and do, the suicide rate has actually increased slightly compared to historic values.

The sad reality is that while a lot of valid disorders have been identified there isn't a good cure for the vast majority.

[imperiouskitten]

I over came hatred. You don't see it yet. But it's not about fear/hatred. It's about healing, curing, nurturing, protection.

All authority, discipline, order, doesn't stem from control fear or hatred.


wrong. if it weren't a mind consumed by hatred, you would have more thoughts about politics than "ewww that gross group over there". unchanged since youve been known to me. not to mention 10,000 other indicators, no offense. don't lie to yourself about this, the work needs to be done.

i reckon a nurturer would think early of young people trying to escape abusive, cloistering households. or women stuck in bad situations. something like that -- at least now and then. no, this is clearly a defensive rationalization bordering on a bald-faced lie, which means I will stop replying to you here because it's getting 2 real for now. but think about it. whatever "THIS" is, the nerve i am touching that would drive you to try and pass off the quote above, is what is wrong. Step 1 is developing a dislike for it, which I see you do, very much. good news cuz that can be the longest step for sure. Step 2 is stop indulging its reinforcement by giving speech to its impulses. I recommend substituting them with something positive. Brain very plastic, stop saying gamer word in no time.

[magnetaress]

wrong. if it weren't a mind consumed by hatred, you would have more thoughts about politics than "ewww that gross group over there". unchanged since youve been known to me. not to mention 10,000 other indicators, no offense. don't lie to yourself about this, the work needs to be done.

i reckon a nurturer would think early of young people trying to escape abusive, cloistering households. or women stuck in bad situations. something like that -- at least now and then...

I am thinking of them. Thats why the abuser needs to be removed and the community needs to step in and help support them.

I'm tired of being demonized because you seem to not care or get what I am trying to tell you. I don't know what is blocking our communication. It's so frustrating. You are putting words and thoughts in my mouth. And head. I feel like you are assuming that I dismissed you. I didn't. There are programs for the women and children, but they refused my mom because I was male and wrongfully diagnosed.

It's not a black and white issue.

I'm not arguing against you. Or UBI or aid for people.

I'm no longer interested in defending myself or my thoughts about abuse from you. If you need answers I'm sorry I couldn't give them to you.

[Cecily]

Yea for all modern psychology/psychiatry proclaims to be and do, the suicide rate has actually increased slightly compared to historic values.

The sad reality is that while a lot of valid disorders have been identified there isn't a good cure for the vast majority.

Which disorders do you think are valid?

[magnetaress]

P.s. I didn't vote for Biden in the primary but I did vote for the women and side discussing this with compassion and integrity. I didn't vote against UBI or anti-anything.

I'm not the horrible monster you're painting me as and I am hurt you called me hateful.

[magnetaress]

And skarne imbalance is the wrong terminology and imo wrong treatment model. AFAIK know. For anxiety and ptsd. Anyway.

Depression is protective and absolutely necessary for healing. And trauma survival. Just like inflammation.

Anxiety and fear isn't evul either.

[Nexii]

Which disorders do you think are valid?

I mean the classification of disorders. In that they exist as described.

[magnetaress]

I'm on the fence about adhd, believe medication could help them the most, but also believe people with focus, impulse control issues have underlying problems and tend to be overmedicated without the actual support they really need.

150 mg of buproprion may be ok. But 300-600 is yikesy territory. Adderall is super fucking dangerous. Ritaln the same?

[magnetaress]

I've also met people trapped in cope and medicate cycles. Not making any changes except working double shifts or becoming isolated and making massive charts and diagrams of their daily routine who fly off the handle if they don't get their single specifically prepared egg down to the pan it was cooked in at exactly 6:30am every morning.

Like I completely understand why. But am truly helpless as they are to break them gently away from that brokenness. Like they hurt you. Over cast iron vs poached in a steel pan. These people have all of the material resources they need but none of the knowledge or wisdom or personal support. Drugs failed them.

They need a safe environment. And supervision.

[Skarne]

I was just quoting Tom Cruise speaking with Matt Lauer.

[Nexii]

I'm on the fence about adhd, believe medication could help them the most, but also believe people with focus, impulse control issues have underlying problems and tend to be overmedicated without the actual support they really need.

150 mg of buproprion may be ok. But 300-600 is yikesy territory. Adderall is super fucking dangerous. Ritaln the same?

Yea a lot of people are way overmedicated for mental disorders. No different than opiates which is only coming out now. It'll probably be a few years before there's a similar 'revelation' with respect to drugs for depression, anxiety, ADHD, OCD, BPD, etc.

[magnetaress]

im just larping out some frustration because i am heinously sick, so dont be mad :p i'm right tho of course, Reagan's welfare queen meme still dictates your entire political pov magnetaress :o it's literally the only thing you have to say about politics or economics, ever. I think u should think about that. It always comes back to how some people will still fuck up no matter how lucky. like, we know. Just try putting that one single thought down for a little while, maybe think about others, like people who aren't a locus for your hatred.

As one poster alluded to, UBI will not immediately fix the lives of ppl with oppositional defiant disorder, psychosis or parapsychosis, profound spiritual/ethical problems which are actively reinforced by the person out of a hatred or nihilism whose source seems boundless and infinite and unexplainable, fanatical adherence to poisonous ideology, or other deeply entrenched mental illnesses & fatal, lifelong character flaws. Nothing can help that person but God, in time, almost certainly with an awful lot of suffering. Perhaps even more suffering than can be had in one lifetime. No political measure will rescue those people and make them whole.

But imagine the same person growing up in a less tortured world. With parents, grandparents, or even great ancestors who were freer to associate with whom they chose, and less rigidly guided by their nearness to starvation. Surrounded by people who were less stressed, who didnt need to fret about anything more immediate than maybe getting sick or something. With the freedom to invest in themselves exactly as they intend, without having to stop for 10 years to have their brains chopped & screwed by torturous wage-slaving that drove them into the arms of drugs, or hurtful ideology, or an abusive partner who could offer more security. Who could take the time to experience the big things that can't be had without months or years free from grinding away, if their spiritual development so required.

it's a profoundly bigger question than what would flat-billed hat-wearing floridian oxy addicts do, oh I bet it would be extra gross. profoundly bigger

Sans the personal defamation and attack on my character I pretty much agree even with the regancentric perspective you paint me with. I get it. It's not personal.

My pogroms wouldn't be abusive or forceful or punishing if I had the resources at my disposal to actually safely help people manage their death loops.

Just for shits and giggles tho.

https://i.imgur.com/3EqYdgW.jpg

Love u. Tho. And thanks for the light and enlightenment you bring. Plz don't tear me back down because you think I want to force ppl to get aids. Or use guns. I absolutely do not.

BTW I agree with neither Marx nor Reagan here. Now isn't the time for revolution or war, or complete submission to the state. Both of those are extreme examples. UBI sounds better.

People could practice better firearms safety though. Locks are reasonable. Not telling people where our guns are is smart too. I believe the majority are indeed capable of that with few exceptions, whom we'd restrict accordingly after they where proven otherwise incapable.

[Jibartik]

hahahahahahhahaha

those are all quotes from political speeches trying to garner support.

Are you telling me that you believe politicians now?

HAHAHAHAHA

do I need to point you to what mao, lenin, and marx's political philosophy DID, or are you going to just think what tey said to get support is what they DID?

I lvoe that we banned fracking and opened the borders and stop putting kids in cages OH WAIT that was just what politicians SAID.

Dont be a victim of politicians promises. They be lyin.

[magnetaress]

hahahahahahhahaha

those are all quotes from political speeches trying to garner support.

Are you telling me that you believe politicians now?

HAHAHAHAHA

do I need to point you to what mao, lenin, and marx's political philosophy DID, or are you going to just think what tey said to get support is what they DID?

I lvoe that we banned fracking and opened the borders and stop putting kids in cages OH WAIT that was just what politicians SAID.

Dont be a victim of politicians promises. They be lyin.
First of all yes I'm aware of the political shenanigans, did you not read my response to their words that comes after the picture?

[magnetaress]

P.s. my focus is on the perspective of the mass murderer here, not even necessarily their implementation.

Because I know what it takes to not be one. And that there are some generalizations not specific to my case and individuality that can be collectively processed and understood.

Understanding and moving out of or away from hatred is absolutely critical. You definitely can't kill or hurt or pacify all of the killers into being safe or dead. Nor should we even try. That's obviously horrifically futile. That'd be 0) but it shouldn't have needed to be said.

[imperiouskitten]

sorry magnetaress i'm in a bad way, so sick rn felt very aggro

[magnetaress]

*vr hug gestures, refusal is completely acceptable! *

[imperiouskitten]

https://i.imgur.com/UKRow12.png

CO shooter^^^^

what did I tell all you sad nerds. Not gettin no pussy-itis might start off mild but it will seriously mess u up.

Sex up them chrome domes, trim the hairs under your lower folds. The monster could come for you too

[Nexii]

Chicken or egg though I do wonder. What kinda girl could be with a paranoid delusional

[magnetaress]

Society tells you u need to get laid.. or own a sexy piece of ass.

U don't.

Time for the monastery and a vow of celibacy.

Also.

Ahmad.

[Nexii]

Society tells you u need to get laid.. or own a sexy piece of ass.

U don't.

Time for the monastery and a vow of celibacy.

Also.

Ahmad.

Sure if you're asexual. Though I have my doubts

[magnetaress]

How can not having sex kill you or other ppl.

Masterbate.

Maybe a wife would have kept me in the military and I would have had more opportunities to kill ppl.

It's just dumb.

I'm glad I'm not sex obsessed. Probably asexual for real, not in a snobby way. Sex is great, I'm glad if you're getting it. It's just a chemical and neurological reaction tho. Buy a vibrator and a waifu (husbandu) pillow if you're desperate.

[HalflingSpergand]

Reproduction and parenthood are the foundation. Imagine if Adam and Eve masterbaters in the corner of the garden

[Toxigen]

Masturbation is for people who can't get laid.

[magnetaress]

Reproduction and parenthood are the foundation. Imagine if Adam and Eve masterbaters in the corner of the garden

Then we wouldn't have this discussion.

Nature does weird things when stressed though. So sex isn't always the answer.

Adam and Eve probably mastutbated too. It's not like Eve had hundreds of kids. And if we want to be less beastly and more Godly then we would move away from sex.

[this user was banned]

Society tells you u need to get laid.. or own a sexy piece of ass.

U don't.

Time for the monastery and a vow of celibacy.

Also.

Ahmad.

Human nature tells you that you need to get laid.
It’s what keeps the human species going.
Denying that is like denying hunger tells you to eat food.

If you want to attempt to transcend human nature, go for it, but I’m going to at least try to enjoy being human while I still can.

[magnetaress]

Human nature tells you that you need to get laid.
It’s what keeps the human species going.
Denying that is like denying hunger tells you to eat food.

If you want to attempt to transcend human nature, go for it, but I’m going to at least try to enjoy being human while I still can.

I'm not saying not to have sex. Or deny your natures. In fact it's good to understand ourselves, and where these drives come from, the consequences of over indulging in crazy rich foods.

Our bodies are designed to deal with real hardships. So we exercise. Or diet to compensate. And our natural rhythms are off. Or we use drugs or surgery.

So, while sex, I'll concede is important. I still assert it isn't necessary and we can still thrive without a mate. Especially if we are part of a greater collective tribe. Working towards a common good. Or to create something.

I wonder if a good minecraft server might have helped Ahmad? Anyway. Before sex, people need to be adults and capable. Society isn't creating or allowing people to be independent and adult and sex-able.

This guy needed serious help, Jesus. Not pussy. Pussy would have come later, *naturally* without effort.

Infact it's quite frustrating, I got people who desperately want to fuck me despite were I'm at simply because of Jesus and my self discipline and culture. So fwiw, we coulda got this guy laid thru a consensual pogrom.

[Jimjam]

Not gettin no pussy-itis

Instructions unclear - took a drag.

[imperiouskitten]

vows of celibacy/monasticism are where pedophilia breeds. It's a sickness to fail to relate to other people, and a delusion to feel right in it -- hope this helps!

[Cecily]

It's such an unfathomably dumb thing to judge others on. Feel like the not having sex leap to where you just took it screams projection. People have sex as a cover, too, i.e. beards etc. Heard you used to talk about 8chan (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/8chan) a lot.

[imperiouskitten]

Misery, meet ur defenders

[Cassawary]

Some are restrained by the burdens of fecundity; others not so much.

[magnetaress]

I'm ambivalent about it. If a hot guy asked nice I'd probably suck his dick tho.

Sex is a poor excuse to kill people over. Or hurt anyone. It's like getting mad about pineapple pizza and going on a rampage.

[Cecily]

Yeah, can't imagine wanting sex bad enough to rampage over it.

[imperiouskitten]

yes, indeed, no rage problems above

https://i.imgur.com/sY2OeqZ.gif

[magnetaress]

Even if Ahmad got sex he probably still woulda done something stupid.

I'm talking good sex.

Would have made no difference in the long run.

Sex didn't help me any. Not even lots of good sex. With multiple people. Quality sex. Not just $5 bjs.

[Cecily]

yes, indeed, no rage problems above

https://i.imgur.com/sY2OeqZ.gif Reminds me of the time someone messaged me, "keep clinging to your friend's 10 year old angle selfies you dumb fucking bitch. You are *trash*. The most frightfully white trashiest I think I've ever met. I hope you die soon. Take the fucking bottle of benadryl. It's all that will stop you from stalking me. Don't contact me again with your low IQ rageaholic shit. I do not consent to this fucking psychosexual bond you draw so much pleasure from. You are creepy and male with this shit. Like you take pleasure in torturing someone you find pretty. PLEASE just fuck off and don't address me. Or else I will get creative. And if you believe half the shit you are told about me, you know I can get creative." Lol.

[imperiouskitten]

Even if Ahmad got sex he probably still woulda done something stupid.

I'm talking good sex.

Would have made no difference in the long run.

Sex didn't help me any. Not even lots of good sex.

Probably have had better sex than Imperiouskitten. With multiple people. Quality sex. Not just $5 bjs.

the room notes rapid escalation indicative of a close brush with the locus of animus

[Nexii]

Yeah, can't imagine wanting sex bad enough to rampage over it.

lol irony

[magnetaress]

I was so fucking bored with having great sex as an attractive Army man I just became a girl. Let that sink in.

[imperiouskitten]

i think my point is well proven. find a partner readers, learn to love and let ur barriers down. or find urself holding teh smoking gun of cringe -- or worse

[magnetaress]

I'm proud of you for finding a man. Don't get me wrong.

[magnetaress]

I'm not a bad person because I don't foist my terminally ill self in the sluttiest fashion on people.

Which is were some of the "you don't have sex so are unhappy" tangentially goes. I am happy. Just fucking dying. But quite happy to post here and help improve your quality of life collectively.

[imperiouskitten]

i think there's some confusion here -- park bench hookups don't count, i am advocating for good Christian ongoing relationships of love, submission(trust) & mutual emotional support. with that clarification, ima be kind and let you happy ppl have the rest of your happy day.

[magnetaress]

i think there's some confusion here -- park bench hookups don't count, i am advocating for good Christian ongoing relationships of love, submission(trust) & mutual emotional support. with that clarification, ima be kind and let you happy ppl have the rest of your happy day.

Good Christian ongoing relationships of love, submission(trust) & mutual emotional support cannot happen for someone in Ahmad's circumstances unless Ahmad gets red flagged, therapy, and grows up.
Becomes responsible, respectful, and able to love. Themselves for starters.

[Nexii]

I'm not a bad person because I don't foist my terminally ill self in the sluttiest fashion on people.

Which is were some of the "you don't have sex so are unhappy" tangentially goes. I am happy. Just fucking dying. But quite happy to post here and help improve your quality of life collectively.

lol more irony

[imperiouskitten]

Good Christian ongoing relationships of love, submission(trust) & mutual emotional support cannot happen for someone in Ahmad's circumstances unless Ahmad gets red flagged, therapy, and grows up. Becomes responsible, respectful, and able to love.

that's exactly right (unless he took it into his own hands)! -- the completement of his actualization involves developing human intimacy :)

I think we agree, but also that you are jacking your brain off with rage somehow using this convo. So let's stop, amicably

[magnetaress]

lol more irony

It is really fucking ironic. Get CFS, survive a suicide attempt. Still fucking happy. And self actualized. Even though it's a monumental effort to even eat.

[imperiouskitten]

It is really fucking ironic. Get CFS, survive a suicide attempt. Still fucking happy. And self actualized. Even though it's a monumental effort to even eat.

Uh, yeah! -- tugs on collar -- Haha!

[magnetaress]

that's exactly right (unless he took it into his own hands)! -- the completement of his actualization involves developing human intimacy :)

I think we agree, but also that you are jacking your brain off with rage somehow using this convo. So let's stop, amicably

I'm having a friendly debate. We should zoom sometime.

I don't have the mental energy to really answer your last PM still. I had 3 hrs today with doctors and a group over video so I'm mentally exhausted.

[magnetaress]

Uh, yeah! -- tugs on collar -- Haha!

Well. I hate how antidepressants just make me psychotic and still unable to move. Idk what else to say. You would love how much I smirk irls now though.

I'm be the tranny Stephen Hawking / Jordan Peterson.

[imperiouskitten]

you aren't being friendly -- you just egged the stalker on when she was primed for another blowout. same old same old. for shame.

[magnetaress]

you aren't being friendly -- you just egged the stalker on when she was primed for another blowout. same old same old. for shame.

Howso? By comparing my elite sexual history to yours? I actually redacted that.

Cecily is being a creep posting snippets of your PMs. Tho. Not good girl behavior.

[Cecily]

Excuse me anything that tweaker sends me is public domain.

[magnetaress]

Maybe respect that she doesn't want emotional intimacy with u or to engage in forum battles tho.

You can critique her point of view without critiquing her or her lifestyle.

Me on the other hand I don't care.

[Nexii]

It is really fucking ironic. Get CFS, survive a suicide attempt. Still fucking happy. And self actualized. Even though it's a monumental effort to even eat.

Uhh...yea...the irony was that you do with 10 new threads a day looking for help with your mental issues. I hope for the best but I don't think it's really the healthiest approach.

Love yourself first. Then you will be able to see the value in sharing that love with someone else.

[imperiouskitten]

I truly do not care about her wishes.

remember when i gave you everything you want in PMs a couple months ago to close this? I didn't really expect any development, but it's another nail in the creepy coffin how you just ghosted me on it and came back like nothing ever happened. It doesn't matter with you unless there are witnesses. Gaslighter extraordinaire. I really shouldn't address you, but just letting you know I can feel the maleness coming through. Been awhile since you took your meds huh? Like years?

Only thing I ever did to you was send you the meds that enabled you to start transition. Of course to you, any act of kindness is merely ammunition guaranteeing that your future psychotic sadism toward the person will carry a sting of betrayal with it. You are one of the creepiest human beings I have ever known. I suppose I can justify this one message to let you know, after all negotiation I see it is in vain. This is not even delusion; it is outright ungrounded psychosexual obsession and sadism. In the end, it only boosts the ego to attract stalkers. Continue to worship me from afar -- I'm going for a new record on never acknowledging your existence now.

[magnetaress]

Uhh...yea...the irony was that you do with 10 new threads a day looking for help with your mental issues. I hope for the best but I don't think it's really the healthiest approach.

Love yourself first. Then you will be able to see the value in sharing that love with someone else.

1 new thread today. Did I even make a thread yesterday?

Hyperbole.

P.s. I was / am fucking beautiful, brilliant, great voice. I have talked tons of shit about climbing mont selaya. Posted many pics from the beach, bridges. So idk what your aim is other than to attack my character.

My original advice and bullet points stand.

Jesus is cool to. Been highlighting that for awhile.

I'm not here to rub in my material self or brag about lift weights. Which I would have you know was 350lb in my prime, no need to overdo it.

[Nexii]

1 new thread today. Did I even make a thread yesterday?

Hyperbole.

P.s. I was / am fucking beautiful, brilliant, great voice. I have talked tons of shit about climbing mont selaya. Posted many pics from the beach, bridges. So idk what your aim is other than to attack my character.

My original advice and bullet points stand.

Jesus is cool to. Been highlighting that for awhile.

I would prefer to help. Though I am not sure I really have the life experience to.

[Cecily]

remember when i gave you everything you want in PMs a couple months ago to close this? I didn't really expect any development, but it's another nail in the creepy coffin how you just ghosted me on it and came back like nothing ever happened. It doesn't matter with you unless there are witnesses. Gaslighter extraordinaire. I really shouldn't address you, but just letting you know I can feel the maleness coming through. Been awhile since you took your meds huh? Like years?

Only thing I ever did to you was send you the meds that enabled you to start transition. Of course to you, any act of kindness is merely ammunition guaranteeing that your future psychotic sadism toward the person will carry a sting of betrayal with it. You are one of the creepiest human beings I have ever known. I suppose I can justify this one message to let you know, after all negotiation I see it is in vain. This is not even delusion; it is outright ungrounded psychosexual obsession and sadism. In the end, it only boosts the ego to attract stalkers.
What did you want to have come out of that? You admitted you slandered Asteria about being a rapist. You want to blast that on RnF? You want me to? You did give me permission. You're a bad person, alright? You admitting to being a bad person doesn't change the fact you're a bad person.

[magnetaress]

I would prefer to help. Though I am not sure I really have the life experience to.

I feel you. Thanks for your concern. I'm ok though.

Feeling radical acceptance /s now towards my inevitable entropic demise. My only goal is to smirk, and share wisdom.

I don't want to trolllllololol. Like I did in 2018.

[imperiouskitten]

What did you want to have come out of that? You admitted you slandered Asteria about being a rapist. You want to blast that on RnF? You want me to? You did give me permission. You're a bad person, alright? You admitting to being a bad person doesn't change the fact you're a bad person.

Stop talking to the room. Talk to me. I want you to stop stalking me, like you agreed, of course. Anyway, we know this isn't about me, except for whatever it is I have that makes you drawn to me. So, enough about you except, well -- I hope everyone noticed the implicit acknowledgment here that Cecily is *NOT* under the influence of estrogen for years. If you're wondering who the bathroom maniac, psycho stalker faux-female is, we do have one in our crowd. Running on T, stalking women, claiming female for cover. Living proof that medical transition is absolutely imperative. I earnestly hope you can get help somehow. Fare thee well, worship in peace.

[Cecily]

"Stop talking to the room. Talk to me."

Still have my number? :P

I know I'm being a bitch RN. Apologizes, withdrawling ;) OMG you lying bitch ahaha

[imperiouskitten]

"Stop talking to the room. Talk to me."

Still have my number? :P

I know I'm being a bitch RN. Apologizes, withdrawling ;) OMG you lying bitch ahaha

it's all beggary to get me to call you, huh? you are so fucking creepy i can't even. peace, for real, i gotta jetpack out. rest assured though i experimented with appeasement, the experiment failed and this will never work how you are hoping.

[Cecily]

it's all beggary to get me to call you, huh? you are so fucking creepy i can't even. peace, for real, i gotta jetpack out. rest assured though i experimented with appeasement, the experiment failed and this will never work how you are hoping.
Kinda hope we never speak again. Ugh. It's funny you ran the exact same slander campaign on her before.

[imperiouskitten]

Kinda hope we never speak again. Ugh

Cecily, I don't know how I can communicate it more clearly or emphatically. Sometimes people go their separate ways. You should absolutely hope we don't speak again. I will never be able to engage you in a healthy way. It will always be unproductive. Sometimes you must take your lessons and move on.

We aren't friends. This isn't cute, it isn't an argument, it is *years* of stalking to the extent that the only purpose your forum account serves is to stalk me. The people around who knew you have been silent out of politeness, or kindness, or whatever, but -- have you noticed how chilled everyone here has become toward you?

What you are doing is not normal. I don't say that as a purveyor of conformity. It is indecent, sick, childlike. Disturbing to the eye. Please, just stop. It's over.

Yes, I said similar things about Asteria when she stalked me for years after I no longer felt comfortable meeting with her IRL. You have similar psychologies, from my POV. Asteria is demonstrably paranoid-schizophrenic. Don't you understand? I am not running a campaign. There is no campaign. There are no followups when you are not around and engaging with me directly -- none. There is no "defense". You are the aggressor.

I am such a fool for writing that. Goodbye.

[Nexii]

Cecily, I don't know how I can communicate it more clearly or emphatically. Sometimes people go their separate ways. You should absolutely hope we don't speak again. I will never be able to engage you in a healthy way. It will always be unproductive. Sometimes you must take your lessons and move on.

We aren't friends. This isn't cute, it isn't an argument, it is *years* of stalking to the extent that the only purpose your forum account serves is to stalk me. The people around who knew you have been silent out of politeness, or kindness, or whatever, but -- have you noticed how chilled everyone here has become toward you?

What you are doing is not normal. I don't say that as a purveyor of conformity. It is indecent, sick, childlike. Disturbing to the eye. Please, just stop. It's over.

Yes, I said similar things about Asteria when she stalked me for years after I no longer felt comfortable meeting with her IRL. You have similar psychologies, from my POV. Asteria is demonstrably paranoid-schizophrenic. Don't you understand? I am not running a campaign. There is no campaign. There are no followups when you are not around and engaging with me directly -- none. There is no "defense". You are the aggressor.

I am such a fool for writing that. Goodbye.

[Cecily]

This conversation doesn't involve you, Ms. Kitty cat meow meow.

[Cecily]

Hey I would like to just put this out in public, not mentally well this week. Diet real shitty, highly stressed and depressed, and multiple addiction withdrawals slamming me at the point in time you got under my skin. Exercised. Ate some protein. Mentally better space atm. Sorry to break our ceasefire and I apologize for being a bitch.

@J. Not you Nexii.

[Baler]

Get some rest, even if you can't sleep. It does the brain good. :)

[Cassawary]

Truscum is 1 word that replaces 10000 word girl arguments

[Cecily]

I like how you learn new words and try to use them. Can you explain how that word applies?

[imperiouskitten]

Truscum is 1 word that replaces 10000 word girl arguments

sorry but medical transition matters. I'm sorry this bothers you. I am quite polite and open even to meeting "identifiers", and wouldn't advocate any discrimination toward them or whatever if i had any power. Their results and public perception will be about commensurate with the depth of their transition efforts, kind of self policing. But it is obvious that there is a difference between their category and mine, although the language does not exist to express it politely.

your incessant transphobic comments to me should stop for more than a few days before you feel you have a leg to stand on with this, particularly in reference to an engagement which is me trying to deactivate a multiyear stalker and obsessive who leverages something absolutely heinous IRL she has made her self connected to in attempt to torment me, which you know. So you also know, this entity even followed up again in PMs after all you read here in a "show warmth, ask again for phone number" mode. Deranged aggressive humans in a male hormonal configuration who stalk and manipulate and abuse women and move constantly to be close to them after clear rejection, shielding themselves from group revulsion with female identity, will be called out by people including me.

I'm not the fucking hormone cops checking papers here and I'm not arguing politics, I am the subject of a 3 year harassment campaign accurately characterizing a person who incessantly abuses and tries to get close to me. And frankly, I would be right to say whatever the fuck I feel like saying if it might get her off of me. And you have every fact at hand to understand that.

How you could feel just in popping a virtue boner while publicly attacking me for my conduct in this interaction is completely beyond me. I would have expected you to be the only one privy to the facts of this and not too sick and compulsively sadistic (magnetaress) to egg it on. To characterize this interaction as an argument is completely disgusting too and reinforces the frame of reference this stalker clings to in order to continue its obsession. You don't argue with a person who is mugging, assaulting, or incessantly following you around - you scream at them or something. You minimize and knowingly contribute to the problem just like magnetaress, and carelessly frame this as some sort of dispute between friends when you know what it really is. You're a huge disappointment doing none of the three of us any favors and stirring shit while you stand up for right. Keep your next "n-word pass" transphobic dogshit for me in your mouth, after all there is nothing else intimate about our acquaintance.

[imperiouskitten]

bleh guess ive been griefed off this board awhile. juris told me to stop. pokesan ur dumb. maerilith ur a sharp toothed cannibal.

[Nexii]

sorry but medical transition matters. I'm sorry this bothers you. I am quite polite and open even to meeting "identifiers", and wouldn't advocate any discrimination toward them or whatever if i had any power. Their results and public perception will be about commensurate with the depth of their transition efforts, kind of self policing. But it is obvious that there is a difference between their category and mine, although the language does not exist to express it politely.

your incessant transphobic comments to me should stop for more than a few days before you feel you have a leg to stand on with this, particularly in reference to an engagement which is me trying to deactivate a multiyear stalker and obsessive who leverages something absolutely heinous IRL she has made her self connected to in attempt to torment me, which you know. So you also know, this entity even followed up again in PMs after all you read here in a "show warmth, ask again for phone number" mode. Deranged aggressive humans in a male hormonal configuration who stalk and manipulate and abuse women and move constantly to be close to them after clear rejection, shielding themselves from group revulsion with female identity, will be called out by people including me.

I'm not the fucking hormone cops checking papers here and I'm not arguing politics, I am the subject of a 3 year harassment campaign accurately characterizing a person who incessantly abuses and tries to get close to me. And frankly, I would be right to say whatever the fuck I feel like saying if it might get her off of me. And you have every fact at hand to understand that.

How you could feel just in popping a virtue boner while publicly attacking me for my conduct in this interaction is completely beyond me. I would have expected you to be the only one privy to the facts of this and not too sick and compulsively sadistic (magnetaress) to egg it on. To characterize this interaction as an argument is completely disgusting too and reinforces the frame of reference this stalker clings to in order to continue its obsession. You don't argue with a person who is mugging, assaulting, or incessantly following you around - you scream at them or something. You minimize and knowingly contribute to the problem just like magnetaress, and carelessly frame this as some sort of dispute between friends when you know what it really is. You're a huge disappointment doing none of the three of us any favors and stirring shit while you stand up for right. Keep your next "n-word pass" transphobic dogshit for me in your mouth, after all there is nothing else intimate about our acquaintance.

The irony of Cecily being upset at me for playing an obviously fictional character in fictional settings, while pretending to be a transitioning female in real life is hilarious. Imagine thinking that stalking for years after a few-month casual friendship is anything but super creepy and obsessive.

While Cassawary is just triggered by everything it would seem. Needs a healthy dose of something called the real world, if only every little thing didn't trigger so badly that he can't get out. Hiding inside and going down the incel path is not going to end in a very happy life.

[Nexii]

cassawary literally on here calling me gay 5 days ago expecting me to roll with it, for the record not retconning this, it made me very uncomfortable. now earnestly triggered that a trans lady would distinguish between actual medical trans women and identifying crossdressers who quit hormones to get their fucking porn boners back. After, as he witnessed, I nearly died and traded my hands for 3 years or life if necessary for medical transition. And while literally shouting down such an individual who is in the act of stalking me. Another vacant dogmatist seeming very empathetic on occasions when parroting his favorite media chances to make him appear thus.

Funny devolving transgender to the broader 'gay', while not accepting sub-categories within transgender. Too much gets lumped in transgender IMO. Crossdresser, genderfluid, non-binary are all very different things than being MtF transgender.

[imperiouskitten]

The irony of Cecily being upset at me for playing an obviously fictional character in fictional settings, while pretending to be a transitioning female in real life is hilarious. Imagine thinking that stalking for years after a few-month casual friendship is anything but super creepy and obsessive.

While Cassawary is just triggered by everything it would seem. Needs a healthy dose of something called the real world, if only every little thing didn't trigger so badly that he can't get out. Hiding inside and going down the incel path is not going to end in a very happy life.

cassawary literally on here calling me gay 5 days ago expecting me to roll with it, for the record not retconning this, it made me very uncomfortable. now earnestly triggered that a trans lady would distinguish between actual medical trans women and identifying crossdressers who quit hormones to get their fucking porn boners back. After, as he witnessed, I nearly died and traded my hands for 3 years or life if necessary for medical transition. And while literally shouting down such an individual who is in the act of stalking me. Another vacant dogmatist seeming very empathetic on occasions when parroting his favorite media chances to make him appear thus.

(oops this will post out of order, i was deleting it to torture the writing even worse but ill stop)

[imperiouskitten]

Funny devolving transgender to the broader 'gay', while not accepting sub-categories within transgender. Too much gets lumped in transgender IMO. Crossdresser, genderfluid, non-binary are all very different things than being MtF transgender.

honestly idk what he meant by it, played along ambiguously to humor him for some reason. called me "infertile" today too like that's no big deal to anyone or me. a real trans advocate, but i suppose he felt he was justified for striking back against my call to endeavor for human intimacy & not settle for lonely, vengeful weirdness (verboten). anyway juris is giving me hell for still posting. thanks for being a bright point around here. dont catch the rot here without my help smarty pants (i know you wont)

oh yeah and keep posting the erotic adventures. ur uncrushed spirit drives the turd mob crazy.

kick em in the truck nuts.

[HalflingSpergand]

Tldr gays saluting their shorts

[Toxigen]

everything is totally cool and normal

[Cassawary]

I like how you learn new words and try to use them. Can you explain how that word applies?

The countercurse is tucute I believe. I will consult the archives.

[magnetaress]

I've only tried to help everyone here. You above all Imperiouskitten.

I'm not even going to ask you to take it back or defend myself. At least I can look other women in the eye.

No, I'm not mad at you, and I care. What I write mostly isn't about you 99% of it is generalized or 98% about me. And my brushes with real cannabilism and predation. I'm very aware of it.

Sorry for the mistakes I made that got us here. For reals. I'm going to continue being more careful here on out.

[Cecily]

The countercurse is tucute I believe. I will consult the archives.

That's absolutely right. Why I ask about the context in this case is you're referring to a schism between transmedicalists and everyone is valid Tumblr types. I'm sure you're very interested in all this but yeah anyways here we go: It comes down to whether or not dysphoria is considered a necessary requirement for transition. Like do it if this is killing you, but otherwise why the fuck would you do this unless you're hurting from not doing it? The tucute (to be cis) opposition thinks everyone is valid and the only stamp to get your transcard stamped is to identify as trans.

Both sides are assholes, but I'm truscum (transmedicalist) essentially. You generally see that with self-hating older hons (excellent word to add to your vocabulary btw) like me. Younger people are more accepting of anyone, so honestly it's not a bad thing, but you get cat Nazis in the mix when you let anyone in.

Terf rhetoric is especially incinidary if you want good troll fodder. Ask a trans woman to define what a woman is. There's literally no adequate answer to that. Kinda like defining Zen.

[Cecily]

Funny devolving transgender to the broader 'gay', while not accepting sub-categories within transgender. Too much gets lumped in transgender IMO. Crossdresser, genderfluid, non-binary are all very different things than being MtF transgender.

So you're complaining about being lumped in with the gays, but also upset that you're lumped in with the queens and other gender variant types. How can we best be sensitive to your special needs? Wouldn't wanna offend you, again.

[Cecily]

cassawary literally on here calling me gay 5 days ago expecting me to roll with it, for the record not retconning this, it made me very uncomfortable. now earnestly triggered that a trans lady would distinguish between actual medical trans women and identifying crossdressers who quit hormones to get their fucking porn boners back.

It's a little different pagentry, but it's honestly the same thing. Yassss queen!

[magnetaress]

That's absolutely right. Why I ask about the context in this case is you're referring to a schism between transmedicalists and everyone is valid Tumblr types. I'm sure you're very interested in all this but yeah anyways here we go: It comes down to whether or not dysphoria is considered a necessary requirement for transition. Like do it if this is killing you, but otherwise why the fuck would you do this unless you're hurting from not doing it? The tucute (to be cis) opposition thinks everyone is valid and the only stamp to get your transcard stamped is to identify as trans.

Both sides are assholes, but I'm truscum (transmedicalist) essentially. You generally see that with self-hating older hons (excellent word to add to your vocabulary btw) like me. Younger people are more accepting of anyone, so honestly it's not a bad thing, but you get cat Nazis in the mix when you let anyone in.

Terf rhetoric is especially incinidary if you want good troll fodder. Ask a trans woman to define what a woman is. There's literally no adequate answer to that. Kinda like defining Zen.

So you're complaining about being lumped in with the gays, but also upset that you're lumped in with the queens and other gender variant types. How can we best be sensitive to your special needs? Wouldn't wanna offend you, again.

Well, I definitely won't argue any of that. Great post.

[imperiouskitten]

I've only tried to help everyone here. You above all Imperiouskitten.

I'm not even going to ask you to take it back or defend myself. At least I can look other women in the eye.

No, I'm not mad at you, and I care. What I write mostly isn't about you 99% of it is generalized or 98% about me. And my brushes with real cannabilism and predation. I'm very aware of it.

Sorry for the mistakes I made that got us here. For reals. I'm going to continue being more careful here on out.

And the immediate shift from this post to bonding over bullying the next isolated female around. I've known what you are for awhile now. But watching all 3 of the last posters left from the good old days embrace their compulsion to attack perceived weakness is nauseating. Deep shame on you and don't bother with the gaslighting reply; it's over.

Obviously being mtf medical trans is distinct from some identity stuff. The first post you quote above indicates you agree with that. The second post you quote serves only to attack Nexii, in direct contradiction of the first. Just to explain what you already know.

You people are vultures. Pokesan knows his relationship with this too. I really hate being the kindest, most empathetic person around because the kindness really is something I need to work on. The 3 of you aren't even trying. It's gotta be goodbye from here, and I pray you can learn in retrospect what you couldn't in the last years. I'm goin where Lune went.

[Cecily]

There's an old saying in tHe CoMmunITy: what's the difference between a cross dresser and a trans woman? 2 years.

[imperiouskitten]

I really don't know that one, nor had I ever heard "tucute". Garbage in, garbage out.

[magnetaress]

And the immediate shift from this post to bonding over bullying the next isolated female around. I've known what you are for awhile now. But watching all 3 of the last posters left from the good old days embrace their compulsion to attack perceived weakness is nauseating. Deep shame on you and don't bother with the gaslighting reply; it's over.

Obviously being mtf medical trans is distinct from some identity stuff. The first post you quote above indicates you agree with that. The second post you quote serves only to attack Nexii, in direct contradiction of the first. Just to explain what you already know.

You people are vultures.

I'm not sure I follow you. Nexii is a big girl and doesn't need my coddling or approval.

You're going beserk. I'm not saying you don't have good reason. But.

*boohisssss* that's what I am seeing. Rise above it.

Or not. You've got my number, not that you'll ever need it. I'm not slamming the door in anyone's face.

I hope you feel better soon.

[magnetaress]

There's an old saying in tHe CoMmunITy: what's the difference between a cross dresser and a trans woman? 2 years.

Tbqh, it's a lot more than two years. Requires passing privilege, RLE. And a life event waking the poor girl in question up out of their victimization and self pity and eternal injustice rage to be able to truly accept those that disagree with and fear or hate her. If she can't let that go and respect others as she wants to be respected.

There's no point. Some people never get there.

[imperiouskitten]

I'm not sure I follow you. Nexii is a big girl and doesn't need my coddling or approval.

You're going beserk. I'm not saying you don't have good reason. But.

*boohisssss* that's what I am seeing. Rise above it.

Or not. You've got my number, not that you'll ever need it. I'm not slamming the door in anyone's face.

I hope you feel better soon.

I'm at the end of my rope with you, having watched you very deliberately encourage Cecily's psychotic behavior yet again in the last 2 days, immediately after I expressed to you the effective and disgusting angle she is employing. Of course you know what I am talking about. If the compulsion really takes you so subtly that you can't see it, I am deeply sorry. But I would eat a shoe if that were really true, as you blink and forget calling me a whore yesterday to egg her on when she was displaying pre-meltdown mania. Here I am literally still trying to help her get over this after how wrong she has done me, and you join in. You're truly awful.

Pokesan same rope, but I think he's just completely careless and stupid in behavior, well beyond what he's capable of. Unloving & unhelpful, & still flexing his N word pass at me in PMs after my messages.

Cecily just the same old jealous obsession, chillingly evil manipulative domineering friend guiding her into it, and the behavioral issues called down upon me by those factors, of course. Just a potent vehicle for revealing your uncontrollable sadism, and the absolute passivity and unlovingness of pokesan. Nexii would do well to remember you both creepy ones act in envy.

Peace out my sad old friends. The circle grows smaller and the mutual abuse (& cellulite) less diluted.

[magnetaress]

Later gator.

[Cecily]

Lol it gets funnier every edit.

[magnetaress]

Had to say goodbye to this gentleman today.

https://i.imgur.com/NQobgE3.jpg

His trip across the rainbow bridge was easy. He was a loving Papa and sweet old man.

[Snortles Chortles]

https://i.imgur.com/kh2Wm3N.jpg

[Cecily]

Had to say goodbye to this gentleman today.

https://i.imgur.com/NQobgE3.jpg

His trip across the rainbow bridge was easy. He was a loving Papa and sweet old man.

Sorry for your loss. He was very handsome.

[imperiouskitten]

https://i.imgur.com/f8MgQB4.jpg

special goodbye to u too lulz. You do occupy a certain archetype in my head, the semi-autistic totally lost of any spirit, who i wish i could reach but is frightened of God, fearing his worship a little too gay looking. I will think of u now and then, and pray you win the woman lotto and experience a human intimacy other than ur single mom's. ps redhead is literally the only thing similar dummy :o

[Snortles Chortles]

https://i.imgur.com/4HCKEvh.png

[magnetaress]

Sorry for your loss. He was very handsome.

Yeah, he was a great guy. Took really good care of us and watched over everybody here.

I couldn't bare to let a feral dog get him. Couldn't stand up this morning.

The vet was really gentle and he went to sleep purring and happy. He had a really great life outdoors. Always free. Always looking out for his babies.

[Cecily]

That's the worst part of having of pets. I'm glad he went peacefully. Sounds like he was really loved.

[Jimjam]

Had to say goodbye to this gentleman today.

https://i.imgur.com/NQobgE3.jpg

His trip across the rainbow bridge was easy. He was a loving Papa and sweet old man.

Big Rip

[Nexii]

I'm at the end of my rope with you, having watched you very deliberately encourage Cecily's psychotic behavior yet again in the last 2 days, immediately after I expressed to you the effective and disgusting angle she is employing. Of course you know what I am talking about. If the compulsion really takes you so subtly that you can't see it, I am deeply sorry. But I would eat a shoe if that were really true, as you blink and forget calling me a whore yesterday to egg her on when she was displaying pre-meltdown mania. Here I am literally still trying to help her get over this after how wrong she has done me, and you join in. You're truly awful.

Pokesan same rope, but I think he's just completely careless and stupid in behavior, well beyond what he's capable of. Unloving & unhelpful, & still flexing his N word pass at me in PMs after my messages.

Cecily just the same old jealous obsession, chillingly evil manipulative domineering friend guiding her into it, and the behavioral issues called down upon me by those factors, of course. Just a potent vehicle for revealing your uncontrollable sadism, and the absolute passivity and unlovingness of pokesan. Nexii would do well to remember you both creepy ones act in envy.

Peace out my sad old friends. The circle grows smaller and the mutual abuse (& cellulite) less diluted.

Craving to be a part of the abuse cycle is the best I can guess as to magnetaress's issue. Mostly to receive abuse through rambling cries for help but also enabling it.

I'm fine really. Living in the real world unlike the rest here. It completely is envy, the hope that I'm somehow on their level or could be brought down to it by their words which is laughable. Family, friends and work are all going great. It's only out of the desire to help now that I've bothered to reply on threads like this. But at a certain point you have to cut loose and say lost causes are lost causes.

All the kings horses and all the king's men, couldn't put Cecily and friends back together again.

[magnetaress]

Naw.

[strongNpretty]

Had to say goodbye to this gentleman today.

https://i.imgur.com/NQobgE3.jpg

His trip across the rainbow bridge was easy. He was a loving Papa and sweet old man.

Aww, RIP young man!!!

[Yumyums Inmahtumtums]

Genuinely interesting thread. Married, CIS, born male, still male, largely very happy though I have my moments. Sorry for your struggles. I identify with almost none of your problems but I’m feeling a great deal of empathy for some quality I can’t put my finger on.

I have nothing of value to add other than I genuinely hope you find happiness and that life is fulfilling.this forum is full of garbage and shit people with bad opinions but for the first time in a while Im coming away from it (without real opinion mind you) with something to think about.

Imperiouskitten you have a great written inner monologue

[magnetaress]

Impk is a jobless unemployed rage-o-manic too. They never worked. They think they did. Are entitled. Willingly fling and slander. But in the end they sling PMs of CardiB butt pics at me saying "you'll never have this".

It's a shit monologue strait outa Portland opiate mill and disability. Take sides because you hate me, or Americas service men and women.

The Dark Mirror is as real as the projection.

I hate no one. Not even angry millenials who demand we kneel before Alexa and Amazon and play dress up in VR suits to sell ourselves as NFTs.

It's not my problem. I'll be crossing the rainbow bridge myself in a few years to be with my old man again. All of God's creatures deserve love.

Not just the Kardashians. And you'd never fuck Ahmad so don't talk shit.

Child. My sweet summer child.

God bless you all.

[Cecily]

Genuinely interesting thread. Married, CIS, born male, still male, largely very happy though I have my moments. Sorry for your struggles. I identify with almost none of your problems but I’m feeling a great deal of empathy for some quality I can’t put my finger on.

I have nothing of value to add other than I genuinely hope you find happiness and that life is fulfilling.this forum is full of garbage and shit people with bad opinions but for the first time in a while Im coming away from it (without real opinion mind you) with something to think about.

Imperiouskitten you have a great written inner monologue
Thanks for your interest. Sincerely. A lot of the time it's like screaming into the void, but I think the reason most of us started sharing our experience was to help people understand us a little bit better. Usually doesn't work. It's hard to get people to relate when they can't relate. Also we're not completely reliable narrators of own stories. You can see persecution complexes on display and performative victimhood in pretty much any group of us, especially including this one.. take our struggles with a grain of salt. It definitely does suck in a lot of different ways, but a good bit of that is self-inflicted and liable to change with maturity. My view point has changed radically over time as I've taken more accountability for my life, coupled with actual experience. Society used to look a lot more scary when this was all hypothetical and I was running off existential dread 24/7. I give way less fucks now. Care way less about opinion / perception management.. Way happier for it and people mostly treat me the way I was going for once I stopped trying so hard. Also completely unsure how true any of that is. Maybe I really care about not seeming like I care.

Guess a big question is it really necessary for others to understand you? I think between any two people real understanding is an impossibility. So it's mostly my ego, which is super important to me, that cares about you caring about my life. It's narcissistic bullshit. Unimportant. People are different. It's ok. Be nice to people, treat them with respect, and that's enough.

[Snortles Chortles]

https://i.imgur.com/pO52mT2.gif

[Yumyums Inmahtumtums]

Thanks for your interest. Sincerely. A lot of the time it's like screaming into the void, but I think the reason most of us started sharing our experience was to help people understand us a little bit better. Usually doesn't work. It's hard to get people to relate when they can't relate. Also we're not completely reliable narrators of own stories. You can see persecution complexes on display and performative victimhood in pretty much any group of us, especially including this one.. take our struggles with a grain of salt. It definitely does suck in a lot of different ways, but a good bit of that is self-inflicted and liable to change with maturity. My view point has changed radically over time as I've taken more accountability for my life, coupled with actual experience. Society used to look a lot more scary when this was all hypothetical and I was running off existential dread 24/7. I give way less fucks now. Care way less about opinion / perception management.. Way happier for it and people mostly treat me the way I was going for once I stopped trying so hard. Also completely unsure how true any of that is. Maybe I really care about not seeming like I care.

Guess a big question is it really necessary for others to understand you? I think between any two people real understanding is an impossibility. So it's mostly my ego, which is super important to me, that cares about you caring about my life. It's narcissistic bullshit. Unimportant. People are different. It's ok. Be nice to people, treat them with respect, and that's enough.

I’m not terribly sure. It’s a good question and to my eye anyways feels like one of this questions that seems to resolve itself somewhat with age. Getting older strips away that vanity and need for stroking until it’s finally all gone and we become caricatures of ourselves. Then we’re exaggerated versions of our worst traits unless we decide to hold onto the ugliness of caring what other people think and find balance managing our image while not getting hurt when someone doesn’t like you for whatever reason.

I’ve had many mushroom trips before but only one was a profound experience like the ones people talk about with lasting changes. For probably 30 minutes I sat around a fire and every relationship in my life or everything I thought I knew about the world was on the table. Like it was just a rule I had been following but for no other reason other than it was a rule. My marriage, my relationship with my kids etc... everything was deconstructed. It’s like when you’re driving and you imagine how easy it would be to swerve off the highway and into oncoming traffic, only this time I was completely indifferent to that idea. About everything.

It also laid bare my compulsions and bad habits, including the things I knew I was and wasn’t doing and why I wasn’t doing them. At least, there were no rules I was telling myself I was following or had habits I was engaging that kept me from doing them. They were just there.

Anyways, as I was coming back down from them, I remember concepts started taking shape again. Everything from my political beliefs, my preferences generally, my relationships etc... everything started to take shape again. But it had this physical quality to it where they were becoming more rigid as beliefs. It almost felt like as rules appeared they made things feel more 3D and like I had to move around them again, like it was before the trip. One big thing stuck out to me though; the vast majority of what was re-materializing for me was satisfactory and I was glad to have it back. I felt like in that moment , that’s how I knew I was comfortable in my own skin.

It’s a pretty spacey description I know but I guess my thought here is, I can’t relate to your experience or some of the other ones anyone else has had directly. I had the benefit of coming back to my life and being satisfied, which I know is a privilege. Yours and other posting in here felt cluttered with concepts and things that, to my eye, had actual properties and characteristics to them.

I hope you can be happy with your concepts one day or they start to melt away for you. There was a really big feeling of peace for me standing alone for a while and without rules. I imagine you could be profoundly happy with a long-term feeling like that.

[Kaveh]

https://i.imgur.com/kh2Wm3N.jpg

LOL hahahahahaha

[magnetaress]

I'm not happy with my concepts but at least I don't do drugs and commit Medicare fraud and miss helping out my bros in the Army.

Hindsight being 20/20.

Life is good if you can live it. Rather than chasing the moon. I guess chasing the moon and looking to become the blue fairy is what makes us human though.

[imperiouskitten]

Genuinely interesting thread. Married, CIS, born male, still male, largely very happy though I have my moments. Sorry for your struggles. I identify with almost none of your problems but I’m feeling a great deal of empathy for some quality I can’t put my finger on.

I have nothing of value to add other than I genuinely hope you find happiness and that life is fulfilling.this forum is full of garbage and shit people with bad opinions but for the first time in a while Im coming away from it (without real opinion mind you) with something to think about.

Imperiouskitten you have a great written inner monologue

Thanks yumyums, outside perspectives are very valuable especially to we who have been siloed off from the world. To be trans is as difficult a minority status to bear as any, maybe rougher than apartheid in its ways, as no matter where you go the monsters glare at you and you lack any peer group to commisserate with and your family is likely to eject you. It's why I feel we all have a duty to our fellow-trans to further the collective comfort with us and not to treat with or encourage Nazis (described by the other repliers as an immaturity, failure to accept others, but I disagree strongly).

I don't need any sorrow for my struggles though. I survived everything, even mourning the permanent loss of the use of both hands for 3 years, only to wind up both totally able-bodied and beautiful, hilariously with money in the bank, and a model for a husband, and much much greater empathy for people who are sidelined by circumstances beyond their control. Funny thing about trans discrimination, is it goes away if you're hot and gets replaced with privilege mostly.

It's the future girls, who may not survive similar struggles, who I cry for and who I implore my trans peers to stop being gaslighting psychopaths, or cucks submitting to nazis for social approval, for. Unfortunately the unwritten code of these people is to egg each other on anytime an episode of mental illness is looming. You can watch them do so like clockwork on this board. There is no love between them it is clear.

I pray these two embrace femininity and learn how appealingly girly and liberating it is to admit you are wrong and apologize instead of going whole-hog into delusional psychosis in defense of ego.

I am definitely not a rage-a-holic. It's why I am signing off from knowing Magnetaress after the hundredth episode of deliberate abuse. It's why I swore off knowing Cecily, to whom abuse and screaming functions as the meat of a relationship and also as a form of romance.

Close the book on your delusionality, Magnetaress. You have no business looking other women in the eye confidently, as you say. You have no respect for their claims of sexual assault, and you participate eagerly in their being creeped-on by men. You have no regard for the isolation of one in this community and when called-out reply with libertarian internet-boy nonsense. There is absolutely nothing nurturing about you -- as soon as you smell weakness you go Kathy Bates in Misery.

Delusional claims that you are not consistently motivated by hatefulness and sadism zoomed-in on Reaganite foci (as you bring up my employment status again lol, employment history being one of your chief measures of human worth) will not help you. We can see your many posts on this board. You are borderline neo-Nazi, obsessed with purges and violence and starving groups out of existence, and your political gibberish-brain comes up even in interpersonal arguments, so it very obviously needs to be addressed. Go reread my posts and help yourself. Stop "getting" help. Godspeed you, and sorry about the cardi b PM, but y'all definitely changed to targeting me specifically when it became obvious I would be dramatically prettier than you. Pretty girls suffer too. Not all privileges are realized and translated into lived experience. and I deserve to have some fun now and then too. So I take my leave reminding you both: ur fat and grizzled and have an entire incel ideology u get triggered about defending :o

qyU7BbQSm98

[HalflingSpergand]

Drugs supply replenished

[magnetaress]

https://i.imgur.com/x3mqV7A.jpg

https://i.imgur.com/0gmc8Tx.png

Mostly cause you're gay, and 9ft tall. Enjoy your Medicare opiods.

[imperiouskitten]

as u progressively cuck an incel deeper, they approach a personality asymptote i calll "the lulz sect line". seems to correlate with fat+bald too

enjoy the AIDS everbody

[magnetaress]

https://i.imgur.com/b6eqPSQ.jpg
https://i.imgur.com/0gmc8Tx.png

[RecondoJoe]

All of my ARMY friends who got out of the Military and went on meds for PTSD have gone from me questioning whether or not they are faking it for the $$$ to being so over-the-top insane that I almost can't stand even knowing them. Like I've watched them get progressively more insane, and more violent (one just stabbed 3 people in California -- was the most normie person I ever met, but I've watched his mental health rapidly decline in the last 10 years or so).

[HalflingSpergand]

Drugs are bad it's true

[magnetaress]

All of my ARMY friends who got out of the Military and went on meds for PTSD have gone from me questioning whether or not they are faking it for the $$$ to being so over-the-top insane that I almost can't stand even knowing them. Like I've watched them get progressively more insane, and more violent (one just stabbed 3 people in California -- was the most normie person I ever met, but I've watched his mental health rapidly decline in the last 10 years or so).

Drugs are bad it's true

Yep. Fuck'n crazy man. It's wack ty for speaking up.

[Cecily]

Yeah I don't know how you can expect good outcomes from sending (basically) children to go kill people in foreign countries and be like ok thanks act normal now. Literally can't imagine the shit you people have seen.

[magnetaress]

I think poverty is a big indicator too. Also lack of work. Meaningfulness. Boredom. And isolation because everyone is really dumb over at Walmart. Pain, and injury will fuck people up severely if they just come home and sit in their room.

I mean some people are fine, have jobs, fun stuff. Decent opportunities to enrich themselves. But not everyone. But thats different than the original topic.

Just imagine coming home and mulling the fucked up crap over and over in your head for just five years while ur family is upset afraid avoiding and stupid about it and worried about their own narcissistic bullshit.

I hope I'm beginning to illustrate some of the factors that come into play into a vets suicide. Or inevitable decline into insanity and drug use.

I feel like antidepressants in general really just hasten that process. Or kill peoples impulse control and make it even easier to do harm, self harm. It all just depends on the tiggers. I mean, sometimes people just lose it when their already fucked up and some other asshole comes along and does something stupid or cruel, what do you expect? Not every instance is completely oh this person is just crazy. It's usually crazy + something else + isolation or being trapped.

[Disease]

I guess antidepressants dont only change your mood. Yikes

[HalflingSpergand]

antidepressants are fucked up. From what i can tell they make s person very susceptible to suggestion and mind control. Makes you disassociate with your real self, create a bot

[magnetaress]

antidepressants are fucked up. From what i can tell they make s person very susceptible to suggestion and mind control. Makes you disassociate with your real self, create a bot

Lithium 1000% mind control. Plus put someone in front of a T.V.

Also, drugs and clinically diagnosed depression is license to literally ignore the cancers eating people from the inside out. Better pick up a Bible.