Netherzul
10-25-2019, 11:29 AM
So excited to log in, power game non stop for a solid 10 days straight because I'm unemployed living off food stamps and other forms of government assistance.
I consume content as quickly and incoherently as possible because why? I don't know why, I don't think anyone does anymore. 50 levels? I'll not sleep 3 days straight, drink 29 mountain dews and/or monster energy drinks to get there in as little time as possible, damaging my body, my sanity and my grip on reality. Is it fun? Fuck no, it's not fun at all. It's just what I do and I've never asked myself why.
During this content consumption, I will survive off of banquet tv dinners that are a notch above literal garbage, because its all I can afford when all I do is play video games, which in turn feeds into my anxiety, which is why I refuse to leave the house to get a job and become a productive member of society. I've never touched a girl and honestly if I ever did, I'd spunk my jorts in an instant, leading to embarrassment and further loneliness.
On my path to level 50 and beyond, I will become the most toxic human being most of you have ever met, because I am projecting my insecurities, self loathing and anger onto others in an attempt to cope with how sad and pathetic my life has become. Did you catch the part where I've never touched a girl and even if I did, I'd cream my jorts? I'm 35 years old for fucks sake!!! I will steal your camps, your mobs, I will train you and I will make you hate me....because no one hates me more than me.
Once I have achieved notoriety, my career on p99 green can either take two paths, the first being to immortal glory as the guild leader of some exclusive only guild, where agoraphobia/living in a basement/SS tier neckbeard/emotional manchild/literal psychopath will be requirements for membership. Oh and you ABSOLUTELY MUST NOT be employed, for a minimum of 5 years. How else can we get you to sit on spawns for days on end without logging out? Keep in mind, this process will be 100% verified, either requiring therapist transcripts, copies of prescription receipts, pictures of SS level neckbeards etc. We will farm the same mobs over and over again, like we have been for the past 10 years, to accumulate an enormous amount of platinum for one of two reasons, the first being for absolutely no reason at all or the second being...you know what (not sure if I can mention this here despite this being a joke I don't want this comment removed). The second reason will ultimately get myself and the 15 other people I share accounts with, banned, resulting in a re-roll to Daybreak progression servers, joining guilds such as Faceless or Relentless Insomnia. Or maybe just a re-roll on P99. Who knows? I don't. Not yet.
The second fork will lead me to infamy, becoming outcast from the server, in total exile, resulting in a re-roll to another character, where, like an idiot, I will let 4-5 people know who I really am, in turn, having myself exposed once I have invested hundreds of hours of time into said character. This cycle may continue, I may wisen up and not tell anyone who my new character is, or I might just quit altogether. And by quit, I mean stop playing for a few days.
tl;dr In the end, what I'm really trying to say is, all in all, Everquest is to blame for every last one of my problems.
p.s. If you're interested in applying to be apart of my groupies and/or future top end untouchable 100+ man raid force guild, PM me. Be sure to include feet pics in PM or your msg will be deleted.
p.s.s. this is a joke and I do not mean to offend anyone who may be suffering from anxiety, agoraphobia or other mental illness
I consume content as quickly and incoherently as possible because why? I don't know why, I don't think anyone does anymore. 50 levels? I'll not sleep 3 days straight, drink 29 mountain dews and/or monster energy drinks to get there in as little time as possible, damaging my body, my sanity and my grip on reality. Is it fun? Fuck no, it's not fun at all. It's just what I do and I've never asked myself why.
During this content consumption, I will survive off of banquet tv dinners that are a notch above literal garbage, because its all I can afford when all I do is play video games, which in turn feeds into my anxiety, which is why I refuse to leave the house to get a job and become a productive member of society. I've never touched a girl and honestly if I ever did, I'd spunk my jorts in an instant, leading to embarrassment and further loneliness.
On my path to level 50 and beyond, I will become the most toxic human being most of you have ever met, because I am projecting my insecurities, self loathing and anger onto others in an attempt to cope with how sad and pathetic my life has become. Did you catch the part where I've never touched a girl and even if I did, I'd cream my jorts? I'm 35 years old for fucks sake!!! I will steal your camps, your mobs, I will train you and I will make you hate me....because no one hates me more than me.
Once I have achieved notoriety, my career on p99 green can either take two paths, the first being to immortal glory as the guild leader of some exclusive only guild, where agoraphobia/living in a basement/SS tier neckbeard/emotional manchild/literal psychopath will be requirements for membership. Oh and you ABSOLUTELY MUST NOT be employed, for a minimum of 5 years. How else can we get you to sit on spawns for days on end without logging out? Keep in mind, this process will be 100% verified, either requiring therapist transcripts, copies of prescription receipts, pictures of SS level neckbeards etc. We will farm the same mobs over and over again, like we have been for the past 10 years, to accumulate an enormous amount of platinum for one of two reasons, the first being for absolutely no reason at all or the second being...you know what (not sure if I can mention this here despite this being a joke I don't want this comment removed). The second reason will ultimately get myself and the 15 other people I share accounts with, banned, resulting in a re-roll to Daybreak progression servers, joining guilds such as Faceless or Relentless Insomnia. Or maybe just a re-roll on P99. Who knows? I don't. Not yet.
The second fork will lead me to infamy, becoming outcast from the server, in total exile, resulting in a re-roll to another character, where, like an idiot, I will let 4-5 people know who I really am, in turn, having myself exposed once I have invested hundreds of hours of time into said character. This cycle may continue, I may wisen up and not tell anyone who my new character is, or I might just quit altogether. And by quit, I mean stop playing for a few days.
tl;dr In the end, what I'm really trying to say is, all in all, Everquest is to blame for every last one of my problems.
p.s. If you're interested in applying to be apart of my groupies and/or future top end untouchable 100+ man raid force guild, PM me. Be sure to include feet pics in PM or your msg will be deleted.
p.s.s. this is a joke and I do not mean to offend anyone who may be suffering from anxiety, agoraphobia or other mental illness