Sorn
02-15-2017, 07:07 PM
Sip Sip Hooray
A Rogue's Tale
By Department of Fun
Chapter 1: In which our tale begins.
It wasn't every day you saw adventurers actually using the bars in town. They were normally out killing things or admiring themselves in the mirror. That's why it was quite the surprise for Hendricks to run into the infamous Mashiara, one of the many adventurers who normally didn't bother entering the city. She had come in ready for some heavy drinking, judging by the size of the stein in her hand.
http://i.imgur.com/oaW1dYE.jpg
Look at that mug. It's like the size of her head.
"What brings you here?" asked Hendricks.
"I'm tired and bored and annoyed with adventuring," replied Mashiara. "The stuff we get is barely worth a thing to merchants, the people with the most influence are all crazy, and I'm sick of organizing the sane ones. What, can't a girl drink in peace? Do I gotta get FTE on the beer here, too? Is someone going to lawyerquest loot rights with me over the elven wine?"
"I was only curious," said Hendricks, whose eyes had glazed over at some point during the rant. "Usually the only stranger we get is a bard who likes dancing shirtless on the tables. He's not what you'd call normal, though."
This sounded like something Mashiara would have enjoyed after another beer. "Is he around?"
"Try Heartwood Tavern," Hendricks said.
"Thanks, I will," Mashiara said, and left with a bare minimum of weaving. Shockingly, she managed to avoid falling off the city and entered the Heartwood Tavern. There, she found just what she was looking for.
http://i.imgur.com/q1ajghw.jpg
It's remarkable how often I walk into a building and find Aalderon shirtless inside. Almost like he plans it.
He introduced himself as Aalderon Crystafire and said yes, Mashiara could feel his biceps. Given that she had not asked to do this and in fact didn't really want to since she was engaged to someone else, she declined.
http://i.imgur.com/RGPsDHB.jpg
That moment when you're wondering if there's a hidden camera somewhere and he's pranking you...
"Is this a hobby for you or something?" she asked. Another two swigs and she would be up on that table with him, she knew. There was just something irresistible about a surface meant for serving food and drinks.
"A hobby? You misunderstand. This is my occupation!" Aalderon did a quick jig and gave her a winning smile.
"Right, the whole bard thing. I meant the lack of a real shirt," she said. "Can you not afford one?"
"I do have a real shirt," he said. "I just find not having one is relaxing. You look like you could do with some relaxing, too. How about it?"
She had no idea what he was implying, but she did agree that she needed to have a little fun. "Talk to me in another beer," she said.
http://i.imgur.com/udGk66w.jpg
I'm not sure she actually waited that long.
"Hey," she said in between wild dancing and drinking. Her alcohol tolerance was high enough that she wasn't at the slurring stage yet, but she was definitely getting there. "Where'd the wolf come from?"
Aalderon's answer was as mysterious as the animal itself. "Nature."
She had no idea what he was talking about, but she just decided to roll with it because that was how she went through life anyway. "Maybe it's thirsty," she suggested.
http://i.imgur.com/xd6mKOl.jpg
PSA: Do not give beer to wolves.
"Here, wolfy wolf!" she called. Her aim was surprisingly good considering how drunk she was.
They were promptly kicked out for feeding wild animals. "Let's go find another bar," said Aalderon. They roamed around the city, seeking out taverns. Some were rejected for superficial reasons.
http://i.imgur.com/6G17QgS.jpg
He has high standards.
Others preemptively kicked them out, not only because Mashiara was singing off-key and off-color songs about sailors while Aalderon told her she was tone-deaf and ought to be arrested, but because the wolf was following them.
http://i.imgur.com/nfCb5rr.jpg
This bar is definitely not FDA-approved.
It was understandable why the taverns didn't want the wolf there. Things quickly got out of hand in the one bar that allowed it inside, so quickly that soon only one traumatized bartender was left to serve them and all the regular patrons had exited the building. Wolves, as it turned out, did not naturally come with high alcohol tolerance.
http://i.imgur.com/SYK78gd.jpg
Repeat: Do not feed beer to wolves.
"Mashiara," said Aalderon. "I think it's time."
"Time for what?" she asked.
"Time to head to another city," he said, moments before he was dragged away by one of the guards. His crime? Something about harassing a merchant over tarnished bastard swords...anyway, someone came by to arrest the wolf as well for being a public nuisance, leaving Mashiara all by her lonesome.
"Time for another drink," she decided once the dust had settled. "Sip sip hooray!"
To be continued...
A Rogue's Tale
By Department of Fun
Chapter 1: In which our tale begins.
It wasn't every day you saw adventurers actually using the bars in town. They were normally out killing things or admiring themselves in the mirror. That's why it was quite the surprise for Hendricks to run into the infamous Mashiara, one of the many adventurers who normally didn't bother entering the city. She had come in ready for some heavy drinking, judging by the size of the stein in her hand.
http://i.imgur.com/oaW1dYE.jpg
Look at that mug. It's like the size of her head.
"What brings you here?" asked Hendricks.
"I'm tired and bored and annoyed with adventuring," replied Mashiara. "The stuff we get is barely worth a thing to merchants, the people with the most influence are all crazy, and I'm sick of organizing the sane ones. What, can't a girl drink in peace? Do I gotta get FTE on the beer here, too? Is someone going to lawyerquest loot rights with me over the elven wine?"
"I was only curious," said Hendricks, whose eyes had glazed over at some point during the rant. "Usually the only stranger we get is a bard who likes dancing shirtless on the tables. He's not what you'd call normal, though."
This sounded like something Mashiara would have enjoyed after another beer. "Is he around?"
"Try Heartwood Tavern," Hendricks said.
"Thanks, I will," Mashiara said, and left with a bare minimum of weaving. Shockingly, she managed to avoid falling off the city and entered the Heartwood Tavern. There, she found just what she was looking for.
http://i.imgur.com/q1ajghw.jpg
It's remarkable how often I walk into a building and find Aalderon shirtless inside. Almost like he plans it.
He introduced himself as Aalderon Crystafire and said yes, Mashiara could feel his biceps. Given that she had not asked to do this and in fact didn't really want to since she was engaged to someone else, she declined.
http://i.imgur.com/RGPsDHB.jpg
That moment when you're wondering if there's a hidden camera somewhere and he's pranking you...
"Is this a hobby for you or something?" she asked. Another two swigs and she would be up on that table with him, she knew. There was just something irresistible about a surface meant for serving food and drinks.
"A hobby? You misunderstand. This is my occupation!" Aalderon did a quick jig and gave her a winning smile.
"Right, the whole bard thing. I meant the lack of a real shirt," she said. "Can you not afford one?"
"I do have a real shirt," he said. "I just find not having one is relaxing. You look like you could do with some relaxing, too. How about it?"
She had no idea what he was implying, but she did agree that she needed to have a little fun. "Talk to me in another beer," she said.
http://i.imgur.com/udGk66w.jpg
I'm not sure she actually waited that long.
"Hey," she said in between wild dancing and drinking. Her alcohol tolerance was high enough that she wasn't at the slurring stage yet, but she was definitely getting there. "Where'd the wolf come from?"
Aalderon's answer was as mysterious as the animal itself. "Nature."
She had no idea what he was talking about, but she just decided to roll with it because that was how she went through life anyway. "Maybe it's thirsty," she suggested.
http://i.imgur.com/xd6mKOl.jpg
PSA: Do not give beer to wolves.
"Here, wolfy wolf!" she called. Her aim was surprisingly good considering how drunk she was.
They were promptly kicked out for feeding wild animals. "Let's go find another bar," said Aalderon. They roamed around the city, seeking out taverns. Some were rejected for superficial reasons.
http://i.imgur.com/6G17QgS.jpg
He has high standards.
Others preemptively kicked them out, not only because Mashiara was singing off-key and off-color songs about sailors while Aalderon told her she was tone-deaf and ought to be arrested, but because the wolf was following them.
http://i.imgur.com/nfCb5rr.jpg
This bar is definitely not FDA-approved.
It was understandable why the taverns didn't want the wolf there. Things quickly got out of hand in the one bar that allowed it inside, so quickly that soon only one traumatized bartender was left to serve them and all the regular patrons had exited the building. Wolves, as it turned out, did not naturally come with high alcohol tolerance.
http://i.imgur.com/SYK78gd.jpg
Repeat: Do not feed beer to wolves.
"Mashiara," said Aalderon. "I think it's time."
"Time for what?" she asked.
"Time to head to another city," he said, moments before he was dragged away by one of the guards. His crime? Something about harassing a merchant over tarnished bastard swords...anyway, someone came by to arrest the wolf as well for being a public nuisance, leaving Mashiara all by her lonesome.
"Time for another drink," she decided once the dust had settled. "Sip sip hooray!"
To be continued...