Meanwhile in Russia...

[Spyder73]

http://www.usatoday.com/story/life/people/2016/11/03/vladimir-putin-grants-russian-citizenship-to-steven-seagal/93230762/

[Ahldagor]

Lol

[maskedmelon]

Damn, I never knew Putin did judo too.


Putin for King

[Lune]

They can have him. (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4E1NFckaDqU)

[Swish]

A couple is walking in St Petersburg, before long they notice a slight precipitation.

"I think it’s raining," says the man.

"No, it’s snowing," replies the woman.

"How about we ask this Communist officer here? He is always right!" exclaims the man. "Officer Rudolph, is it raining or snowing?"

"Definitely raining," Officer Rudolph replies before walking off.

The man turns to his wife with a smile. “See? Rudolph the Red knows rain, dear.”

[maskedmelon]

A couple is walking in St Petersburg, before long they notice a slight precipitation.

"I think it’s raining," says the man.

"No, it’s snowing," replies the woman.

"How about we ask this Communist officer here? He is always right!" exclaims the man. "Officer Rudolph, is it raining or snowing?"

"Definitely raining," Officer Rudolph replies before walking off.

The man turns to his wife with a smile. “See? Rudolph the Red knows rain, dear.”

lollollollollol. Took me. Few minutes to get it. I feel dumb now ^^;

[Spyder73]

They can have him. (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4E1NFckaDqU)

I think I had a siezure while watching this - what the f#ck

[big_ole_jpn]

Seagulls are known for producing poop

[Spyder73]

Steven Segals IMDB (his own words) - “Steven Seagal is a striking and somewhat boyishly handsome looking (often with ponytail) and usually impeccably dressed action star.”

Steven Segal attacks John Leguizamo - “We were in rehearsals for Executive Decision. I’m playing his Master Sargeant and we come in for rehearsals and he says, ‘I’m in command. Everything I say is law. Anybody doesn’t agree?’ I was like, ‘Bwahahaha.’ I started cracking up because he sounded like a retard and he came up and he Taekwondo’ed my ass against the brick and he [hit me with his elbow],” Leguizamo recalled.

Segal vs Puppy - If you aren’t aware, he’s got a reality show called Steven Seagal: Lawman. He’s some kind of honorary volunteer Sheriff, but like the kid volunteers to be hall monitor in school, he takes that role much too seriously. Seagal raided a man’s house, claiming there was an underground cockfighting ring going on there. In the process, he damaged the man’s home, killed his puppy dog (He denies killing the dog), and managed to kill over 100 prize chickens that were bred for competition, according to the homeowner.

He literally drove a tank through this guy’s home. A TANK. The guy was home alone, but for some reason they let Steven drive a tank through his front door.

Seagal defended himself by saying “Animal cruelty is one of my pet peeves,” which is a great – albeit accidental – pun.

Fun fact on Under Siege 2 - “One day an executive walked into Seagal’s trailer and found Hollywood’s reigning manly man… weeping.

‘Oh, I’m reading this script,’ Seagal explained, still misty. ‘It’s the most incredible script I’ve ever read.’

‘That’s fantastic,’ the executive said, ‘Who wrote it?’

Seagal didn’t miss a beat. ‘I did,‘ he replied.”

Segal and Anderson Silva - “Right before he walked out I said you know, stay away from him for the first 2 or 3 minutes, just kind of get him frustrated, then fake low and come high and do that kick that I’ve been teaching you and kick him in the head.” – Steven Seagal

[big_ole_jpn]

^no mention of him getting pushed around by mafia? weak

[Spyder73]

This is actually really awesome - give this a chance

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e4Ao-iNPPUc&list=PL7x8De8ZSiwpLSnR5bG3RfSfOgcNnzq3Z

[R Flair]

segal is an old punk that sucked at acting because he drank his own koolaid. of course he is a buddist and wants to become a russian citizen.

[katrik]

I love Putin

[Baler]

http://www.ultra-com.org/blog/steven-seagal-is-a-horse-killing-piece-of-shit/

I recalled reading this for some reason a year or so ago.

[myriverse]

Effin fat sell out. Putin can have him.

[AzzarTheGod]

^no mention of him getting pushed around by mafia? weak

This. Boring

[Angushjalmur]

They can have him. (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4E1NFckaDqU)

That played exactly like the intro to about half of the porn produced in the 80s.