Tekilia Pu'Tang's Truly Inspiring Traveler's Saga: Misty Cries!

[Jotei]

Tekilia Pu'Tang's Truly Inspiring Traveler's Saga: Misty Cries!

by

Tekilia Pu'Tang


For the Past

[Jotei]

Misty Cries! - Prologue


Piles of shattered bone and clay draped in and on sticky white sheets of incorporeal goo littered the entrance to the City's stables. Tekila rubbed her eyes groggily as a delightful little voice wormed its way into her slowly waking mind, .......my magical.......it worked!.......

She sat up, picking bits of debris from her wet hair as she did. She was soaked! She hadn't been out long, but must have had night sweats while she napped on one of the clay mounds. Erowen sat not far away whistling to herself. She was in good spirits.

Tekilia stood to resume her just liberation of lost souls in the City, brushing bits of bone and clay from her ass as she did. She was pleased that all the goo and grime had not stained or otherwise damaged her fantastic pants.

She had been exploring the city of Mist for sometime now and had spent the last several days around the Stables. It was a delightful area offering invaluable experience that she was pleased to be able to share with such fine companions.

Tekilia wiped her face and and scrunched some excess moisture from her halter. The City was hot and smelled of fish and vinegar, or was it just her? She shrugged, no matter, and set out to pull. Her blueberry slipped into the shadows while Ssazuk and Gnomemagician sat on their asses. Iriquois, their newest companion sat idly chewing on his leg, harvesting the new flesh as it regenerated. Tekilia thought she might never understand shaman.

She made a quick circuit around the courtyard and returned with several clay golems in hot pursuit.

"I hope you're ready, because I am coming with [a haze golem]!" she cried as she approached the stables."

"I'm ready!" cried Erowen.

Once more the party made short work of their adversaries and Tekilia was off looking for more when a familiar voice called out to the city.

"Good adventurers of the City of Mist, I offer my blade in the light of Marr as ward against the long shadows of this place!"

Tekilia beamed a smile as she made her way back to camp, "Join us at the stables good paladin!" she shouted.

The paladin had reached the stables before they'd finished disposing of Tekilia's latest catch. Asses were slapped, weapons were brandished, cubes were crushed and Tekilia and her halfbreed holy man Blazzizow were reunited. Tekilia introduced Blazzizow to her blueberry as we as the others. All were pleased to make his acquaintance and equally pleased to have him with them as Tekilia quickened her pace, ensuring the meat grinder never hungered.

And so it was that Tekilia Pu'Tang, Bane of Mistmoore, Butcher of Crushbone, Savior of Faydark, Defender of Freeport, Master Fister, Wearer of Fine Pants, Heir to the Throne of the Pu'Tang Empire, began her long stay in the City of Mist.

[Jotei]

Misty Cries! - Charm & Good Cheer

Charlie had grown disagreeable, insolent. His powerful arms hung loosely at his sides as he stared stubbornly at one if the slime covered walls outside the stables. Lumadwen had warned them of this and now it was happening. Somehow, the great clay golem was resisting the pale elf's charm. It did not wish to be pet to the enchanter and fought with a strength of will unlike any Tekila had ever seen from a mindless mass of animated clay.

Tekilia chewed her lip bashfully as she thought of what it might be like to be a pet. Lumadwen floated not far behind her. Even in his current state as an amorphous wisp of air he was strangely alluring. Tekilia found herself dwelling too heavily on the issue and redirected her attention to Charlie.

Dispose of him the next time he comes at me Lumadwen had instructed her and her very special blueberry in his soothing voice. Tekilia turned to her blueberry. The wickedly playful little creature stood grinning mischievously behind Charlie, some delightfully sinister plan had no doubt hatched behind that pretty little face. Tekilia smiled. Charlie bolted for Lumadwen and Tekilia was upon him in a flash.

"Time to die, Charlie!" She cried as she leaped into the air delivering a crushing blow to the golem's lumpy head as the edge of one of her delicate silk-slippered feet sank like a knife into the dense red clay of its arm. Tekilia taunted her foe,

"Fight me you hoebag!"

Charlie stopped mid stride and spun to face the mouthy monk. Tekilia's assault did not waver as she wove between the vicious swipes of the great golem's massive arms.

"I'll save you my skinny bitch!" cried Erowen as she leaped from the shadows, thrusting wildly at the golem from behind. Like a rabid weasel on a hare the beautiful little creature thrashed madly at the golem's back.

Tekilia thrust one of of her thick rods into the soft clay of the golem's belly, but the beast seemed not to care. She squinted as the towering construct was wreathed in flame. Xeneker snorted as the incantation completed. Tekilia felt the immense heat as the elemental slashed furiously at the golem while its master Gomemagician spectated comfortably from the rear alcove.

Jenekin re-constituted itself and joined the fray while his master sat idly as a pile of bones, embracing a slow death as his very life force was steadily converted to magical energies. Ssazuk rose.

"Ahhh, thank you [a haze golem]," hissed the skeleton in his natural lizard voice.

Offdaheezy scratched his great ass with a meaty hand as he stood to grant Tekilia and her blueberry the regeneration of his foul master. The fat ogre cringed, glancing fearfully about as he invoked His name, drawing the incantation to climax.

The golem fell to the ground as Tekilia's heavy rod drained the last of its unnatural energy. Erowen pounced on its back and continued to hack away a she retrieved her weapons - they had be lost in the frenzy - from the now unrecognizable mass if red clay,

A glimmer caught Ssazuk's sharp lizard eyes. He went to retrieve the object and declared his find to the party, an emerald ring.

"Mine!" Tekilia cried authoritatively invoking the power of the fates. She shivered withdrawing one if her magical dice from her pants and rolled it as she dashed off towards the temple. It could have been any number from 0 to 100, but this time, it was 88! Tekilia smiled victoriously. Accusations of cheating fell from the mouths of her disgruntled comrades as they tried vainly in opposition of the will of the fates to beat her glorious roll.
"But you don't need anymore rings," they objected.
"I need one for each for my fingers," she countered.
"You've already got one on every finger."

Tekilia looked at her hands and then assessed her inventory. It defied logic, but somehow they appeared to be in the right. She wasn't sure how, but she knew otherwise.

"No, I do not," she returned flatly as she rushed up the stairs within the temple.
"You've got rings on your toes," they insisted. Tekilia paused and wondered how they knew about her toe rings. She studied her slippered feet in the torchlight of the temple stairwell and noticed a faint metallic sparkle whisper from behind the thin silk veil of her slippers. They were right of course, but beautiful toes deserved nothing less than beautiful adornment. She was not going to let on that they her companions were right though.

"Hah!" She scoffed as she loosed a summoned throwing dagger at an unsuspecting phantom.

"Tekilia! This is a string of factually inaccurate text because you were too lazy to go research this tidbit before publishing!" it hissed at her.

"Toe rings would hurt and make it difficult to run with as active as I am," she deflected and indeed they did...

"I hope you're ready because I'm coming with an apparation on my ass!," she hollered to her groupmates as she approached their camp, her bosom bouncing with great jubilance as her delicate feet kissed the ground.

"I'm ready!" Enthusiastically returned her mischievous little blueberry.

The phantom stood no chance as it entered the camp. It angrily raked the air about Tekilia, failing spectacularly to match the monk's speed and cunning. Xeneker and Jenekin rushed to intercept the infiltrator.

"Leave my monkey slut alone!" cried Erowen as she joined the melee, her fine sword and great spear thrusting deeply into the phantom's body.

The phantom dropped in short order like a torn sack, settling on the slimy City pavers as a sticky white sheet of incorporeal residue. The fat ogre rose and went to pick through the sticky stain.

"Ooo Offdaheezy find a shiny," he said proudly displaying a star ruby all but lost in the pinch of his two fat fingers. It reminded Tekilia of what happened when she wore necklaces.

"Mine!" She exclaimed, once more invoking the power of the fates as she withdrew a magical die from her pants and rolled it. It could have been a any number from 0 to 100, but this time it was 27! Tekilia glowered at the die before scooping it up and stuffing it back in her pants. The fates had abandon her.

Tekilia stalked off to the courtyard in search of something to vent her frustrations on as the others rolled their dice. Gnomemagician cheered wildly as he cast the winning roll. Tekilia stomped angrily on a haze golem's limp tail and smacked it between the legs with one of her sticks, right in the soft clay!

"I hope you're ready because I'm coming with a haze golem," she barked to her groupmates as she headed back to camp.

"I'm ready!" Cried her blueberry. Tekilia smiled. She'd have the next shiny.

When they'd finished pummeling the golem, Tekilia plopped down on her ass smearing clay all over herself as she tried to wipe it off. Offdaheezy stood abruptly. Scratching his fat ogre ass he said,

"Offdaheezy need go"

"No, you may not leave," Tekikia replied sternly, still unhappy about losing the roll and growing frustrated with the sticky red clay on her sticks and skin.

"Offdaheezy has da hungy," he pleaded. His great belly rumbled.

"No, you must stay. Sit down now" Tekilia replied more warmly, but still stern and tinged with frustration. Offdaheezy shifted uncomfortably. Licking his lips, he glanced furtively at Gnomemagician

"Offdaheezy need go!" He exclaimed, "Offdaheezy go now!"

And with that the big fat ogred sprinted off with all the speed of the wolf. His unease and shifting eyes had not gone unnoticed to Tekilia. He was obviously very hungry, very near the tipping point for an ogre. He had demonstrated considerable restraint in not devouring Gnomemagician in front of them.sad

The little man was furious, but for another reason.

"That ogre left with the star ruby! My star ruby! He never gave it to me!"

Tekilia and Erowen attempted to quell the little gnome's fury, offering to slaughter the next Ogre they encountered in retribution. It would not do though. He demanded genocide, so the three agreed to raze Oggok at a future date. The gnome seemed pleased and the battle for the lost souls of the City of Mist resumed.

And so it was that Tekilia Pu'Tang, Bane of Mistmoore, Butcher of Crushbone, Savior of Faydark, Defender of Freeport, Master Fister, Wearer of Fine Pants, Heir to the Throne of the Pu'Tang Empire, found favor and fine things among the sticky halls of the City of Mist.

[Jotei]

Misty Cries! - Booze & Barefeet

A stale breeze licked the still waters as it stumbled across the moat to Tekilia's party. The air wheezed as it passed through the City beneath the weight of its burden, carelessly spilling its load on anything it touched. The still stone walls sweat as intensely as the creatures and visitors within.

Tekilia's pale skin glistened like wet ivory in a globe of confused torchlight bouncing feverishly around the prism of shifting mist. Moisture beaded and slipped in thick rivulets along sweeping curves and into the dark crevices of her vulpine form. She cradled a bottle of honey mead affectionately in her lap, her legs folded, as she sat on the cool stone pavers in a coagulating puddle of green ooze. Lost in an inebriated daze, she stared blankly ahead and sniffed absently as she fingered the cork. It popped free, bounced off of something and landed in the moat below with a soft little plup.

Smidgeon wiped the mead from the side of his head where the wet cork had struck him and gave his fingers a taste as Tekilia flung her head back and emptied the contents of the green bottle mostly into her mouth, a few generous portions escaping down her neck, into her hair, between her breasts, over her belly or into her pants. Smidgen smiled and gnawed at the cork of one of his bottles, tearing it free with his teeth. He took a few sips and replaced the cork. The mead was great, but his station demanded a bit more propriety.

Clutching the empty bottle in one hand, Tekilia clamored to her feet. She swayed unsteadily in the unseen gail of need and inebriation. Her grip loosened and she was off, sprinting drunkenly toward the daw bridge. Her party had been idle too long

"Wm pkllfng," she mumbled as she staggered away with the speed of the wolf.

Pokemorf slipped into the shadows. Ssazuk shed his robes and flesh; assuming the lithe form of death. Locked in his meditative trance, Zayinn made no move, his stony expression made more sinister by the harsh shadows wrought of the flickering torchlight and severe lines of his lean face.

Tekila stumbled across the bridge, riding the steady winds of intuition and experience through the assailing gales of slick surfaces and drunkenness. Her path meandered through the quagmire of inebriation from one side of he moat-walk to the other as she dashed past the empty rotunda on her way to the waters northern edge. The deviously playful honey mead lured her perilously close to the walk's edge at times, but intuition, lightning reflexes and the formidable counterweight her breathtaking bosom always ensured that her bare feet found their way nimbly beneath her as her limber body whipped in a new direction - away from the edge.

Tekilia lurched forward, scrunching her toes and stooping awkwardly with her ass in the air as she slid to a halt. A fog golem waited obliviously near the north bank if the moat. She straightened herself and stumbled back a few steps, slipping onto her ass as she hurled the empty mead bottle at the unsuspecting golem. She sat dazed only momentarily and was back on her feet sprinting drunkenly to her party before the empty jug even thwacked quietly against the golems great clay bull neck.

"Yiu wre ni maxc foh Pu'Tang!" She barked as she raced away.
"A fug holim xonresys teh swpremakj of Pu'Tang! Het us rkin justice uxon tve barbarous dog!" She cried to her companions.

A phantom appeared as she blazed down the moat walk. Tekilia swung widely as she stumbled nimbly around it, spinning like a dancer as she slipped around the corner and blasted across the moat.

The phantom lagged well behind and the golem further yet as Tekilia reached her party. They all stood at the ready as she snatched up a fresh bottle of mead, uncorked it and thoroughly doused her magnificent bosom as she emptied the contents into her mouth. A look of grim determination settled on her pretty face as she wiped her chin and chucked the empty bottle into the moat.

Her pursuers were closing. She could hear them coming across the moat and flicked her head for a look as she tugged at her pants. Taunting her foes over her her shoulder, Tekilia managed to bare one ass cheek, slapping it sloppily as she goaded them.

"Cxme asn get id, BHTCIES!" She cried.

Aabdel shook his head disapprovingly, trying to suppress a smirk while he reprimanded Tekilia for the unruly display.

"You're not in college anymore Tekilia," he scolded.

Tekilia continued her drunken assault, swaying effortlessly between the flailing arms of the mindless wraith and its clay ally.

Before the golem dropped to the ground, Tekilia was off again, rushing towards the bridge with her ass cheek still hanging out.

Tekilia found the bridge to be wetter and slower than usual. She pondered the changes with the dozen or so IQ points unimpaired by her mead binge as she drifted onto her back. She struggled to right herself, but to no avail. She was in the moat and her beautifully buoyant breasts were reluctant to sink below the water's surface. Tekilia thrashed about furiously, obstinately protesting the will of the mutinous flesh and showering her group mates with the wild splashing before resigning herself to her fate.

Having been bested by her own breasts, Tekilia maneuvered skillfully through the water with a well-practiced backstroke. It was the only way she'd ever been able to swim, but even so, it still infuriated her every time she entered the water. She staggered onto the shore and grimaced at the pond scum stuck to her feet, between her toes and around her nails. Damnit! She needed a pair of shoes :c[i] On the bright side, the dip had washed most of the ooze from her. It had started to dry and was becoming sticky and flaky and rather unpleasant, so she was most pleased to be rid of it.

Tekilia glanced around thoughtfully and paused to return her bare ass cheek to the modest refuge of her fine pants - not that much more was hidden behind the second skin now that she was completely soaked - before padding silent over to a plague bone skeleton. She tossed a shuriken at it and frowned as she trotted back towards camp. The spirit of wolf had abandon her and the swim had been unduly sobering.

Her heart leaped and her pace quickeened as Zyrom's soothing falsetto slipped into her ears, boring deep into her mind. She felt uplifted as she zipped around the corner at bard speed. She was lighter, quicker, [i]cleaner. She looked down as she dashed across the bridge and her eyes bulged with surprise. She was floating! Like a dead man! she thought, though not entirely sure why. She had never actually seen or even heard of a dead man floating. Ssazuk had granted her one of the foul gifts of his art. She smiled. The night was young. There were spirits to liberate and adventures to be had.

And so it was that Tekilia Pu'Tang the Inebriated, Bane of Mistmoore, Butcher of Crushbone, Savior of Faydark, Defender of Freeport, Master Fister, Wearer of Fine Pants, Heir to the Throne of the Pu'Tang Empire, explored the depths of her love of good drink as she liberated the tortured souls of the City of Mist.

[Muggens]

I for one like these.
Skeptical to your stories at first, but starting to enjoy em more and more.

[skarlorn]

Some nice eq memes woven in here. Over the top prose is annoying at first but it feels like a joke as you get further into it and is both amusing and annoying. I enjoyed these more than I anticipated.

[Jotei]

Thanks, glad they are growing on people. Aren't really anymore on the horizon though. I was wanting to publish them in order (completing my Mistmoore adventures, before those of the City of Mist), but haven't really written anything new since my original posts earlier this year and then accidently destroyed the records of my Karnor's adventures a week or so ago and decided it best to just publish what I had before it too was lost^^

[Spyder73]

My belief that you are not Filbus diminishes by the day