Beastagoog's Emporium: Enquire Within

[Beastagoog]

Hi Red99,

My name is Beastagor, aka Beastagoog in trading name.

I bring to you today offerings I offer my closest friends on Red99 however feel it is now the right time to offer these services to my fellow server players.

But firstly an introduction to server as a credibility check:

I started playing EQ back in 1999 and have never stopped; I was a well known PvPer on both TZ/SZ. While my friends slayed bitches IRL I slayed bitched in Norrath. My mother often worries about my health but been a professional full-time gamer I consider myself a healthy 250 pounds.

I am yet to move out of my uncles home due to my gaming career not taking off as planned. I am now 31 years old have no GED and barely and friends IRL, nor have I touched the thighs of a women, let alone seen a vagina IRL.

As you can tell I am highly credited for the services I bring you:

My first one is a subscription based service called NavNorrath, I have this gps like device running at all times to locate the easiest of targets in zones, and also allows me to see when threats are incoming and I can make a tactful retreat to a zoneline.

You simply press M and it shows a map that other players don't have including players location! It's great!

Before NavNorrath:
http://i.imgur.com/XwqpLwE.jpg

After NavNorrath:
http://i.imgur.com/8anW94y.jpg

For a simple low cost of 2.99pizzas per month you can have this; I will run your packsniffer thru my linux server thus allowing you to feel like a champion.

Don't worry I am pro at this.

---

I have 6 of these following cards for sale: I use them allot personally but willing to let some go for the right pizza amounts:

http://i.imgur.com/OmuJRj3.jpg

All of my fellow guildies hold one of these especially that Sektorz guy he almost brought me out at one point lucky I can get these in stock easily:

http://i.imgur.com/4san5wh.jpg


Please help me get my life back on track as I am worried I won't have anything substantial in life other then a good r99pvp.com score. I found out recently that when I went for a position as a clerk at petroleum store my K:D ratio didnt impress the manager.


Kind regards,
Beastagoog


p.s. my guild endorses and uses above services and they are the #1 pve guild on the server. Can refer to officers and such for personal references. Just remember pals:

I am pro at this.

[Smedy]

lol beastagor has reached a new level of rustlequest, pras

[Colgate]

delivery was funny but when you really think about it this post is horribly pathetic and i bet you were actually crying in real life as you wrote this

[Farzo]

lol it is actually funny.

another HB thread?

[Nocsucow]

lol this is funny

[Drakaris]

Gold... quite accurate too!

There is one problem though, the "Nav Norrath" map is of Cazic Thule, not Lower Guk ;)

[Pitborn]

banderas.gif

[Not_Kazowi]

God this is pathetic. Look at your life dude

[Heyitsme]

http://s3-ec.buzzfed.com/static/enhanced/webdr02/2012/12/13/14/anigif_enhanced-buzz-9093-1355426470-1.gif

[thugcruncher]

banderas.gif

http://cdn.arwrath.com/2/203709.gif

[sotto]

http://www.reactiongifs.com/r/snoop.gif

[Not Salem]

Pretty funny

[georgie]

lol I looking at threads like this in the morning

[georgie]

love*

[Agatha]

it'd be funny if it wasn't true.

Beastagor/Salem is a known cheater, Don't be fooled, he is better at this game than the majority of you, he will rock most of you scrublets, but at the higher level pvp, he can't hang, i frequently observe him warping/ghosting/training when he can't achieve his goal.

He only does it to a select few people because he knows he can't win and knows it rustled them harder than actually killing him. Salem is also missing the tip of his finger because as a child he was caught stealing chocolate bars from a vietnamese run store. They held him down and chopped off the tip of his finger (yes, he's black, im not a racist but the shoe fits).

[Agatha]

I forgot to mention, he is in azrael.

[Not_Kazowi]

it'd be funny if it wasn't true.

Beastagor/Salem is a known cheater, Don't be fooled, he is better at this game than the majority of you, he will rock most of you scrublets, but at the higher level pvp, he can't hang, i frequently observe him warping/ghosting/training when he can't achieve his goal.

He only does it to a select few people because he knows he can't win and knows it rustled them harder than actually killing him. Salem is also missing the tip of his finger because as a child he was caught stealing chocolate bars from a vietnamese run store. They held him down and chopped off the tip of his finger (yes, he's black, im not a racist but the shoe fits).

[Not_Kazowi]

If true then lolololol

[Not Salem]

Lol I'm the best at this game

[Pikrib]

A ton'o mad in here. U rocken dem scrublets again Salem?

[Not Salem]

Yup starting with the OP

[Eslade]

http://troll.me/images/giorgio-a-tsoukalos/packet-laggers.jpg

[Not_Kazowi]

Lol I'm the best at this game

What's it like being the best at one of the most unimportant waste of time things on earth?

[Pikrib]

GM's please change Rexx's surname to Pessimist.

[Not Salem]

Amazing, I will probably still post about my exploits here even five years after this server dies

[HippoNipple]

Amazing, I will probably still post about my exploits here even five years after this server dies

Only 3 years to go.

[krazyGlue]

where do i download this program . i need maps

[Swyft]

where do i download this program . i need maps

why would you need it, you just hit /fol to pvp

[Agatha]

krazy trained me earlyer in seb, i had larsen at 10%, trapped. with impeccable timing larsen ran around a wall just as krazy came in with a 10 frog trained and flopped it on me.

Both in azrael. just more of the same bs.

[magician]

salem is a professional pokemon card tradesmen

[Swyft]

krazy trained me earlyer in seb, i had larsen at 10%, trapped. with impeccable timing larsen ran around a wall just as krazy came in with a 10 frog trained and flopped it on me.

Both in azrael. just more of the same bs.

Don't ever count on Suckpuppy being alone, he don't have the stones for it. Unless he's on 500k geared lvl 18, then he's suddenly a badass.

[magician]

salem is a professional pokemon card tradesmen

[Jenni D]

Assuming English is not the op's first language

[Drakaris]

krazy trained me earlyer in seb, i had larsen at 10%, trapped. with impeccable timing larsen ran around a wall just as krazy came in with a 10 frog trained and flopped it on me.

Both in azrael. just more of the same bs.

Azrael are the worst when it comes to training players. I think they get away with it either through an inside GM, or batphone level petition quest with falsified counter-videos as proof.

Either way, server will be a better place if select players in Azrael got the Nizzar/Cast treatment.

[Drakaris]

Azrael are the worst when it comes to training players. I think they get away with it either through an inside GM, or batphone level petition quest with falsified counter-videos as proof.

Either way, server will be a better place if select players in Azrael got the Nizzar/Cast treatment.

Just quoting my own post, further to that, they did get Banksy and Biznasty suspended TRAINING THEMSELVES even.

That shits sad, funny and true all at the same time.

[Potus]

Assuming English is not the op's first language

Clearly the OP is the Vietnamese convenience store owner that chopped off Beastagor's index finger for stealing a Payday.

[karsten]

on a side note, Beastagoog is a great name for a character

[Potus]

It's dangerously close to my gimmick alt Yeastagoog, who travels from zone to zone warning everyone to wash their hands before fingerbanging.

[Gaffin 7.0]

lol

[mtb tripper]

http://31.media.tumblr.com/5294fd051f6f927b2ce64dbfa76e6a62/tumblr_n5fafsfxOn1s5bxm0o1_500.jpg

[Beastagoog]

it'd be funny if it wasn't true.

Beastagor/Salem is a known cheater, Don't be fooled, he is better at this game than the majority of you, he will rock most of you scrublets, but at the higher level pvp, he can't hang, i frequently observe him warping/ghosting/training when he can't achieve his goal.

He only does it to a select few people because he knows he can't win and knows it rustled them harder than actually killing him. Salem is also missing the tip of his finger because as a child he was caught stealing chocolate bars from a vietnamese run store. They held him down and chopped off the tip of his finger (yes, he's black, im not a racist but the shoe fits).

Excuse me Mr, how dare you accuse me of cheating - I am calling the forumlawyers in to deal with you and your remarks- I have the capacity to call in 2-10 people to zerg anything you say on the forums.

I have a clean whistle except on Wednesday and Sunday when my pal comes over and stays the night, then I have dirty tainted whistle.

salem is a professional pokemon card tradesmen

it's hard to give up childhood dreams, I have Pokemon bedsheets and pikachu pillowcases too.

Just quoting my own post, further to that, they did get Banksy and Biznasty suspended TRAINING THEMSELVES even.

That shits sad, funny and true all at the same time.

Sounds like your friend needs some of these:


http://i.imgur.com/OmuJRj3.jpg

get them to PM or hit me up in game.

[Farzo]

It's dangerously close to my gimmick alt Yeastagoog, who travels from zone to zone warning everyone to wash their hands before fingerbanging.

he better be gnome....

[Smedy]

salem reaches the highest level of rustle ever achieved, very impressive dog, pvp champ

[LostCause]

SO GOOG

[Not_Kazowi]

Same totally rustles people by spending hours editing photos and writing novels about minor PVP conflicts. You must be killin it in rl hehe 8)

[Mudslinger]

It's dangerously close to my gimmick alt Yeastagoog, who travels from zone to zone warning everyone to wash their hands before fingerbanging.
Ty so much for reminding me to wash my hands once I get done shitting and get off this toilet wow dude I about went to fuck my old lady with possible yeast xfering hands thank god you reminded me to wash

[Nirgon]

There's a river of slime under this mother fucker like Ghost Busters 2

[Mudslinger]

Profile pick is me in the track my drivers side tire dug out once I pulled the truck out

[Eslade]

There's a river of slime under this mother fucker like Ghost Busters 2

http://www.i-mockery.com/minimocks/ghostbusters2/slimeriver1.gif

[Nirgon]

River of hateful blooming onion dipping sauce might be better way to phrase it

[Farzo]

Lol at op and follow up post.

I wonder if Beastagor is gunna go harder slaying new players to make up for this? *tears running down face* I am NOT a failure die die cloth wearing level 56...

Sadly we will never know if he got salty or not.

[Drakaris]

Lol at op and follow up post.

I wonder if Beastagor is gunna go harder slaying new players to make up for this? *tears running down face* I am NOT a failure die die cloth wearing level 56...

Sadly we will never know if he got salty or not.

Beastagor's always salty, he probably hasn't seen a woman's thighs in over a year? (I think he became hardcore on red 99 after he got dumped etc).

It's ok though, he will always have plenty of time to get the best dropables in the game, enough plat to buy DS pots, always have time to box his buff mules before pvp and always have that CH stick on stand by! And if all else fails he will screen drag and exploit his way out of a pvp death, nothing like seeing a character open a door and run through it, only to appear behind you in another hallway!

[Smedy]

the rustle continues, very intredasting

[Not Salem]

oh man hahahaha

[Nirgon]

Drak you need to nutswing over that river of onion slime into a guild that will teach you common core EverQuest/ForumQuest

[Awwalike]

enough plat to buy DS pots