Picking up women

[ChampionRising]

Hello I thought I would share with you what happened to me recently. I have felt lonely and decided that now is the time to get myself a girlfriend. Being asian, girls usually don't warm up to me too quickly so I usually avoided trying to get a girlfriend. I walked up to the money tree in alabama and went up to the counter andasked the female how she was doing. She said she was doing fine and I picked up the phone and dialed my mom. I was nervous and sweating and she said "your doing fine, just be yourself". I said to the woman "Hey I wanted to know if you will go out with me tonight." She said she had plans. I said "sorry" and walked away very quickly. The next day I came into the same branch and I didnt see her so I waiting over an hour outside of the building hoping she would show up. She finally pulled into the parking lot and I was so scared and sweating profusely. I ran over to her car while she was still in it and put a rose on her windshield and ran away, trying to give the myself the mysterious dangerous lover look. So scared and filled with adrenaline i cooled down a little bit with a Pepsi from the pizza place next door. After drinking the Pepsi I went back into the branch and walked up to her with my head down like I was mysterious. I took out a coin and flicked it into the air and caught it to impress her. I asked her if she will go out with me and that I'm endlessly in love with her. She said some rude things that I'm trying not to think about. Anyway I left, a total failure, and heart broken.

[Shrubwise]

Wait, the coin flip didn't work for you? It always works for me. Sorry man. Tough break.

[LulzSect]

Hey Faggots,

My name is John, and I hate every single one of you. All of you are fat, retarded, no-lifes who spend every second of their day looking at stupid ass pictures. You are everything bad in the world. Honestly, have any of you ever gotten any pussy? I mean, I guess it’s fun making fun of people because of your own insecurities, but you all take to a whole new level. This is even worse than jerking off to pictures on facebook.

Don’t be a stranger. Just hit me with your best shot. I’m pretty much perfect. I was captain of the football team, and starter on my basketball team. What sports do you play, other than “jack off to naked drawn Japanese people”? I also get straight A’s, and have a banging hot girlfriend (She just blew me; Shit was SO cash). You are all faggots who should just kill yourselves. Thanks for listening.

http://i2.kym-cdn.com/entries/icons/original/000/002/901/OrigCash.jpg

Pic Related: It’s me and my bitch

[Azure]

The first step in learning how to pick up women is:

Paragraphs. They're critical to effective communication. Without this. It can be fairly hard to learn from others.

[mtb tripper]

what

[Weekapaug]

The first step in learning how to pick up women is:

Paragraphs. They're critical to effective communication. Without this. It can be fairly hard to learn from others.

LOLed

[SamwiseRed]

good thread. i especially liked the part about the coin flipping lol

[Visual]

That's what god made rape for

[Swish]

If you ever watch a LoL stream, spare a thought for the socially awkward guys... you can see that despite being in a room of 100s/1000s that they're not great with eye contact and their body language is awkward.

OP probably plays Annie (there's some joke on the internet about it).

[Nads]

Hey Faggots,

My name is John, and I hate every single one of you. All of you are fat, retarded, no-lifes who spend every second of their day looking at stupid ass pictures. You are everything bad in the world. Honestly, have any of you ever gotten any pussy? I mean, I guess it’s fun making fun of people because of your own insecurities, but you all take to a whole new level. This is even worse than jerking off to pictures on facebook.

Don’t be a stranger. Just hit me with your best shot. I’m pretty much perfect. I was captain of the football team, and starter on my basketball team. What sports do you play, other than “jack off to naked drawn Japanese people”? I also get straight A’s, and have a banging hot girlfriend (She just blew me; Shit was SO cash). You are all faggots who should just kill yourselves. Thanks for listening.

http://i2.kym-cdn.com/entries/icons/original/000/002/901/OrigCash.jpg

Pic Related: It’s me and my bitch

Lulz delivering. /thread.

[Faywind]

Hey Faggots,

My name is John, and I hate every single one of you. All of you are fat, retarded, no-lifes who spend every second of their day looking at stupid ass pictures. You are everything bad in the world. Honestly, have any of you ever gotten any pussy? I mean, I guess it’s fun making fun of people because of your own insecurities, but you all take to a whole new level. This is even worse than jerking off to pictures on facebook.

Don’t be a stranger. Just hit me with your best shot. I’m pretty much perfect. I was captain of the football team, and starter on my basketball team. What sports do you play, other than “jack off to naked drawn Japanese people”? I also get straight A’s, and have a banging hot girlfriend (She just blew me; Shit was SO cash). You are all faggots who should just kill yourselves. Thanks for listening.

http://i2.kym-cdn.com/entries/icons/original/000/002/901/OrigCash.jpg

Pic Related: It’s me and my bitch

Good thread until this was posted... not funny.

[stormlord]

Hello I thought I would share with you what happened to me recently. I have felt lonely and decided that now is the time to get myself a girlfriend. Being asian, girls usually don't warm up to me too quickly so I usually avoided trying to get a girlfriend. I walked up to the money tree in alabama and went up to the counter andasked the female how she was doing. She said she was doing fine and I picked up the phone and dialed my mom. I was nervous and sweating and she said "your doing fine, just be yourself". I said to the woman "Hey I wanted to know if you will go out with me tonight." She said she had plans. I said "sorry" and walked away very quickly. The next day I came into the same branch and I didnt see her so I waiting over an hour outside of the building hoping she would show up. She finally pulled into the parking lot and I was so scared and sweating profusely. I ran over to her car while she was still in it and put a rose on her windshield and ran away, trying to give the myself the mysterious dangerous lover look. So scared and filled with adrenaline i cooled down a little bit with a Pepsi from the pizza place next door. After drinking the Pepsi I went back into the branch and walked up to her with my head down like I was mysterious. I took out a coin and flicked it into the air and caught it to impress her. I asked her if she will go out with me and that I'm endlessly in love with her. She said some rude things that I'm trying not to think about. Anyway I left, a total failure, and heart broken.
Y̶o̶u̶'̶r̶e̶ ̶c̶r̶a̶z̶y̶ ̶a̶n̶d̶/̶o̶r̶ ̶y̶o̶u̶ ̶g̶o̶t̶ ̶b̶i̶g̶ ̶c̶r̶a̶z̶y̶ ̶b̶a̶l̶l̶s̶.̶ ̶I̶ ̶a̶m̶ ̶i̶n̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶ ̶s̶a̶m̶e̶ ̶h̶o̶l̶e̶,̶ ̶i̶n̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶ ̶s̶e̶n̶s̶e̶ ̶I̶'̶v̶e̶ ̶n̶e̶v̶e̶r̶ ̶h̶a̶d̶ ̶a̶ ̶G̶F̶.̶ ̶I̶'̶m̶ ̶s̶o̶r̶t̶ ̶o̶f̶ ̶c̶r̶a̶z̶y̶,̶ ̶t̶h̶o̶u̶g̶h̶,̶ ̶b̶u̶t̶ ̶n̶o̶t̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶ ̶k̶i̶n̶d̶ ̶o̶f̶ ̶c̶r̶a̶z̶y̶ ̶t̶h̶a̶t̶'̶l̶l̶ ̶h̶u̶r̶t̶ ̶a̶n̶y̶o̶n̶e̶,̶ ̶e̶x̶c̶e̶p̶t̶ ̶b̶y̶ ̶v̶i̶r̶t̶u̶e̶ ̶o̶f̶ ̶m̶y̶ ̶a̶t̶t̶i̶t̶u̶d̶e̶ ̶m̶a̶k̶i̶n̶g̶ ̶s̶o̶m̶e̶o̶n̶e̶ ̶a̶n̶g̶r̶y̶ ̶a̶t̶ ̶m̶e̶.̶ ̶A̶n̶y̶w̶a̶y̶,̶ ̶I̶ ̶l̶i̶k̶e̶ ̶h̶o̶w̶ ̶y̶o̶u̶ ̶w̶e̶r̶e̶ ̶a̶b̶l̶e̶ ̶t̶o̶ ̶d̶o̶ ̶a̶l̶l̶ ̶t̶h̶a̶t̶ ̶b̶e̶s̶i̶d̶e̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶ ̶o̶b̶v̶i̶o̶u̶s̶ ̶s̶i̶g̶n̶s̶ ̶y̶o̶u̶'̶r̶e̶ ̶g̶i̶v̶e̶ ̶u̶s̶ ̶y̶o̶u̶ ̶w̶e̶r̶e̶ ̶n̶e̶r̶v̶o̶u̶s̶.̶ ̶I̶ ̶k̶n̶o̶w̶ ̶t̶h̶a̶t̶ ̶I̶'̶d̶ ̶n̶e̶v̶e̶r̶ ̶d̶o̶ ̶t̶h̶a̶t̶,̶ ̶u̶n̶l̶e̶s̶s̶ ̶I̶ ̶f̶e̶l̶t̶ ̶c̶o̶n̶f̶i̶d̶e̶n̶t̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶ ̶g̶i̶r̶l̶ ̶a̶l̶r̶e̶a̶d̶y̶ ̶l̶i̶k̶e̶d̶ ̶m̶e̶.̶ ̶A̶n̶d̶ ̶h̶o̶w̶ ̶w̶o̶u̶l̶d̶ ̶I̶ ̶k̶n̶o̶w̶ ̶i̶f̶ ̶s̶h̶e̶ ̶l̶i̶k̶e̶d̶ ̶m̶e̶,̶ ̶s̶e̶e̶i̶n̶g̶ ̶a̶s̶ ̶I̶ ̶h̶a̶v̶e̶ ̶a̶l̶w̶a̶y̶s̶ ̶b̶e̶e̶n̶ ̶s̶o̶ ̶s̶e̶l̶f̶-̶a̶b̶s̶o̶r̶b̶e̶d̶ ̶a̶n̶d̶ ̶e̶s̶p̶e̶c̶i̶a̶l̶y̶ ̶a̶w̶k̶w̶a̶r̶d̶ ̶a̶r̶o̶u̶n̶d̶ ̶f̶e̶m̶a̶l̶e̶s̶?̶ ̶ ̶I̶ ̶w̶i̶l̶l̶ ̶s̶a̶y̶ ̶t̶h̶a̶t̶ ̶i̶n̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶ ̶p̶a̶s̶t̶ ̶5̶-̶1̶0̶ ̶y̶e̶a̶r̶s̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶ ̶o̶n̶l̶y̶ ̶g̶i̶r̶l̶ ̶I̶ ̶e̶v̶e̶r̶ ̶f̶e̶l̶t̶ ̶I̶ ̶h̶a̶d̶ ̶a̶ ̶c̶h̶a̶n̶c̶e̶ ̶w̶i̶t̶h̶ ̶w̶a̶s̶ ̶a̶n̶ ̶a̶s̶i̶a̶n̶.̶ ̶W̶h̶y̶?̶ ̶B̶e̶c̶a̶u̶s̶e̶ ̶u̶n̶l̶i̶k̶e̶ ̶m̶o̶s̶t̶ ̶g̶i̶r̶l̶s̶ ̶s̶h̶e̶ ̶w̶a̶l̶k̶e̶d̶ ̶u̶p̶ ̶t̶o̶ ̶m̶e̶ ̶a̶n̶d̶ ̶a̶s̶k̶e̶d̶ ̶a̶b̶o̶u̶t̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶ ̶h̶o̶m̶e̶w̶o̶r̶k̶.̶ ̶I̶ ̶f̶e̶l̶t̶ ̶c̶o̶m̶f̶o̶r̶t̶a̶b̶l̶e̶ ̶a̶r̶o̶u̶n̶d̶ ̶h̶e̶r̶ ̶a̶n̶d̶ ̶t̶o̶l̶d̶ ̶h̶e̶r̶ ̶w̶h̶a̶t̶ ̶I̶ ̶r̶e̶m̶e̶m̶b̶e̶r̶e̶d̶.̶ ̶S̶h̶e̶ ̶s̶a̶t̶ ̶b̶y̶ ̶a̶ ̶c̶o̶l̶o̶r̶e̶d̶ ̶i̶n̶d̶i̶a̶n̶ ̶m̶a̶n̶ ̶i̶n̶ ̶o̶n̶e̶ ̶o̶f̶ ̶m̶y̶ ̶c̶l̶a̶s̶s̶e̶s̶ ̶a̶n̶d̶ ̶I̶ ̶n̶e̶v̶e̶r̶ ̶g̶o̶t̶ ̶t̶o̶ ̶k̶n̶o̶w̶ ̶h̶e̶r̶ ̶b̶e̶c̶a̶u̶s̶e̶ ̶I̶ ̶r̶e̶s̶p̶e̶c̶t̶e̶d̶ ̶h̶e̶r̶ ̶c̶h̶o̶i̶c̶e̶s̶.̶ ̶M̶o̶r̶e̶ ̶t̶h̶a̶n̶ ̶l̶i̶k̶e̶l̶y̶,̶ ̶s̶h̶e̶ ̶w̶a̶s̶ ̶j̶u̶s̶t̶ ̶w̶o̶n̶d̶e̶r̶i̶n̶g̶ ̶a̶b̶o̶u̶t̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶ ̶h̶o̶m̶e̶w̶o̶r̶k̶,̶ ̶a̶f̶t̶e̶r̶ ̶a̶l̶l̶.̶ ̶M̶a̶y̶b̶e̶ ̶s̶h̶e̶ ̶l̶i̶k̶e̶d̶ ̶t̶h̶a̶t̶ ̶o̶t̶h̶e̶r̶ ̶g̶u̶y̶.̶ ̶I̶f̶ ̶s̶h̶e̶ ̶h̶a̶d̶ ̶c̶o̶n̶t̶i̶n̶u̶e̶d̶ ̶t̶o̶ ̶a̶s̶k̶ ̶m̶y̶ ̶"̶q̶u̶e̶s̶t̶i̶o̶n̶s̶"̶ ̶a̶b̶o̶u̶t̶ ̶h̶o̶m̶e̶w̶o̶r̶k̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶n̶ ̶I̶ ̶w̶o̶u̶l̶d̶ ̶h̶a̶v̶e̶ ̶s̶u̶s̶p̶e̶c̶t̶e̶d̶ ̶s̶h̶e̶ ̶w̶a̶s̶ ̶c̶o̶m̶i̶n̶g̶ ̶o̶n̶t̶o̶ ̶m̶e̶.̶ ̶A̶n̶d̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶ ̶f̶u̶n̶n̶y̶ ̶t̶h̶i̶n̶g̶ ̶i̶s̶,̶ ̶W̶O̶U̶L̶D̶ ̶I̶ ̶e̶v̶e̶r̶ ̶c̶o̶m̶e̶ ̶o̶n̶ ̶t̶o̶ ̶s̶o̶m̶e̶o̶n̶e̶ ̶e̶l̶s̶e̶?̶?̶?̶?̶?̶?̶ ̶P̶r̶o̶b̶a̶b̶l̶y̶ ̶n̶o̶t̶,̶ ̶a̶n̶d̶ ̶t̶h̶a̶t̶'̶s̶ ̶w̶h̶y̶ ̶I̶'̶l̶l̶ ̶p̶r̶o̶b̶a̶b̶l̶y̶ ̶a̶l̶w̶a̶y̶s̶ ̶b̶e̶ ̶s̶i̶n̶g̶l̶e̶ ̶a̶n̶d̶ ̶d̶a̶t̶e̶l̶e̶s̶s̶,̶ ̶a̶s̶i̶d̶e̶ ̶f̶r̶o̶m̶ ̶m̶y̶ ̶n̶o̶t̶ ̶s̶o̶ ̶g̶r̶e̶a̶t̶ ̶a̶p̶p̶e̶a̶r̶a̶n̶c̶e̶.̶ ̶ ̶S̶O̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶ ̶f̶a̶c̶t̶ ̶y̶o̶u̶ ̶c̶o̶m̶e̶ ̶o̶n̶ ̶t̶o̶ ̶s̶o̶m̶e̶o̶n̶e̶ ̶e̶l̶s̶e̶ ̶m̶e̶a̶n̶s̶ ̶s̶o̶m̶e̶t̶h̶i̶n̶g̶.̶ ̶A̶s̶s̶u̶m̶i̶n̶g̶ ̶y̶o̶u̶'̶r̶e̶ ̶a̶l̶r̶e̶a̶d̶y̶ ̶a̶ ̶q̶u̶i̶e̶t̶ ̶o̶r̶ ̶s̶h̶y̶ ̶g̶u̶y̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶n̶ ̶t̶h̶i̶s̶ ̶m̶e̶a̶n̶s̶ ̶y̶o̶u̶r̶ ̶c̶h̶a̶n̶c̶e̶s̶ ̶h̶a̶v̶e̶ ̶i̶n̶c̶r̶e̶a̶s̶e̶d̶ ̶b̶e̶c̶a̶u̶s̶e̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶r̶e̶'̶s̶ ̶a̶l̶s̶o̶ ̶a̶ ̶c̶h̶a̶n̶c̶e̶ ̶s̶o̶m̶e̶o̶n̶e̶ ̶c̶o̶m̶e̶s̶ ̶o̶n̶t̶o̶ ̶Y̶O̶U̶.̶ ̶ ̶B̶e̶s̶t̶ ̶a̶d̶v̶i̶c̶e̶:̶ ̶I̶f̶ ̶y̶o̶u̶ ̶c̶a̶n̶'̶t̶ ̶g̶e̶t̶ ̶g̶i̶r̶l̶s̶ ̶r̶i̶g̶h̶t̶,̶ ̶a̶t̶ ̶l̶e̶a̶s̶t̶ ̶g̶e̶t̶ ̶y̶o̶u̶r̶ ̶w̶o̶r̶k̶ ̶r̶i̶g̶h̶t̶.̶ ̶K̶e̶e̶p̶ ̶g̶o̶i̶n̶g̶ ̶t̶o̶ ̶s̶c̶h̶o̶o̶l̶.̶ ̶K̶e̶e̶p̶ ̶w̶o̶r̶k̶i̶n̶g̶.̶ ̶ ̶A̶l̶s̶o̶ ̶r̶e̶m̶e̶m̶b̶e̶r̶ ̶i̶f̶ ̶y̶o̶u̶r̶ ̶h̶e̶a̶r̶t̶ ̶i̶s̶ ̶b̶r̶o̶k̶e̶n̶ ̶y̶o̶u̶'̶r̶e̶ ̶g̶o̶i̶n̶g̶ ̶t̶o̶ ̶f̶e̶e̶e̶l̶ ̶l̶i̶k̶e̶ ̶h̶t̶e̶ ̶w̶h̶o̶l̶e̶ ̶w̶o̶r̶l̶d̶ ̶i̶s̶ ̶c̶r̶u̶s̶h̶i̶n̶g̶ ̶y̶o̶u̶.̶ ̶K̶n̶o̶w̶ ̶t̶h̶i̶s̶:̶ ̶Y̶o̶u̶'̶l̶l̶ ̶g̶e̶t̶ ̶o̶v̶e̶r̶ ̶i̶t̶.̶ ̶L̶i̶f̶e̶ ̶i̶s̶ ̶s̶o̶ ̶m̶u̶c̶h̶ ̶m̶o̶r̶e̶ ̶r̶i̶c̶h̶ ̶t̶h̶a̶n̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶ ̶s̶m̶a̶l̶l̶ ̶ ̶b̶i̶t̶ ̶y̶o̶u̶'̶v̶e̶ ̶e̶x̶p̶e̶i̶r̶e̶n̶c̶e̶d̶ ̶s̶o̶ ̶f̶a̶r̶.̶ ̶D̶o̶n̶'̶t̶ ̶l̶e̶t̶ ̶i̶t̶ ̶g̶e̶t̶ ̶y̶o̶u̶ ̶d̶o̶w̶n̶.̶ ̶I̶f̶ ̶y̶o̶u̶'̶v̶e̶ ̶e̶v̶e̶r̶ ̶f̶e̶l̶t̶ ̶y̶o̶u̶r̶ ̶l̶i̶f̶e̶ ̶w̶a̶s̶ ̶g̶o̶i̶n̶g̶ ̶t̶o̶ ̶b̶e̶ ̶c̶u̶t̶ ̶s̶h̶o̶r̶t̶,̶ ̶y̶o̶u̶'̶d̶ ̶k̶n̶o̶w̶ ̶t̶h̶a̶t̶ ̶j̶u̶s̶t̶ ̶h̶a̶v̶i̶n̶g̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶ ̶c̶h̶a̶n̶c̶e̶ ̶t̶o̶ ̶l̶i̶v̶e̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶ ̶r̶e̶s̶t̶ ̶o̶f̶ ̶y̶o̶u̶r̶ ̶l̶i̶f̶e̶ ̶[̶U̶]̶w̶i̶t̶h̶o̶u̶t̶[̶/̶U̶]̶ ̶t̶h̶a̶t̶ ̶t̶h̶r̶e̶a̶t̶ ̶i̶s̶ ̶l̶i̶k̶e̶ ̶h̶a̶v̶i̶n̶g̶ ̶a̶ ̶h̶u̶g̶e̶ ̶e̶x̶c̶i̶t̶i̶n̶g̶ ̶w̶o̶r̶l̶d̶ ̶o̶f̶ ̶p̶o̶s̶s̶i̶b̶i̶l̶i̶t̶y̶ ̶u̶n̶l̶e̶a̶s̶h̶e̶d̶ ̶o̶n̶ ̶y̶o̶u̶.̶ ̶I̶ ̶h̶o̶p̶e̶ ̶a̶n̶d̶ ̶w̶i̶s̶h̶ ̶y̶o̶u̶ ̶n̶e̶v̶e̶r̶ ̶h̶a̶v̶e̶ ̶t̶o̶ ̶k̶n̶o̶w̶ ̶w̶h̶a̶t̶ ̶i̶t̶'̶s̶ ̶l̶i̶k̶e̶ ̶t̶o̶ ̶f̶e̶e̶l̶ ̶l̶i̶k̶e̶ ̶y̶o̶u̶r̶ ̶l̶i̶f̶e̶ ̶i̶s̶ ̶c̶u̶t̶ ̶s̶h̶o̶r̶t̶,̶ ̶B̶U̶T̶ ̶l̶i̶f̶e̶ ̶i̶s̶ ̶p̶r̶e̶c̶i̶o̶u̶s̶,̶ ̶s̶o̶ ̶l̶i̶v̶e̶!̶ ̶ ̶A̶n̶d̶ ̶i̶f̶ ̶i̶t̶ ̶s̶t̶i̶l̶l̶ ̶h̶u̶r̶t̶s̶.̶.̶.̶.̶a̶t̶ ̶l̶e̶a̶s̶t̶ ̶t̶e̶l̶l̶ ̶y̶o̶u̶r̶s̶e̶l̶f̶ ̶y̶o̶u̶'̶r̶e̶ ̶n̶o̶t̶ ̶a̶l̶o̶n̶e̶.̶ ̶I̶ ̶k̶n̶o̶w̶ ̶w̶h̶a̶t̶ ̶i̶t̶'̶s̶ ̶l̶i̶k̶e̶ ̶t̶o̶ ̶n̶o̶t̶ ̶h̶a̶v̶e̶ ̶a̶ ̶G̶F̶.̶ ̶T̶e̶l̶l̶ ̶y̶o̶r̶u̶s̶e̶l̶f̶ ̶y̶o̶u̶ ̶c̶a̶n̶ ̶s̶t̶i̶l̶l̶ ̶h̶a̶v̶e̶ ̶f̶r̶i̶e̶n̶d̶s̶.̶ ̶Y̶o̶u̶ ̶c̶a̶n̶ ̶s̶t̶i̶l̶l̶ ̶g̶o̶ ̶t̶o̶ ̶p̶a̶r̶t̶i̶e̶s̶.̶ ̶T̶h̶e̶r̶e̶'̶s̶ ̶s̶t̶i̶l̶l̶ ̶a̶ ̶l̶o̶t̶ ̶t̶o̶ ̶a̶p̶p̶r̶e̶c̶i̶a̶t̶e̶ ̶a̶n̶d̶ ̶e̶n̶j̶o̶y̶.̶ ̶ ̶P̶e̶r̶s̶o̶n̶a̶l̶l̶y̶,̶ ̶I̶ ̶t̶h̶i̶n̶k̶ ̶y̶o̶u̶'̶r̶e̶ ̶f̶i̶n̶e̶.̶ ̶Y̶O̶u̶ ̶h̶a̶v̶e̶ ̶g̶u̶t̶s̶ ̶(̶o̶r̶ ̶c̶o̶n̶f̶i̶d̶e̶n̶c̶e̶)̶ ̶e̶n̶o̶u̶g̶h̶ ̶t̶o̶ ̶t̶e̶l̶l̶ ̶a̶ ̶g̶i̶r̶l̶ ̶y̶o̶u̶ ̶l̶i̶k̶e̶ ̶h̶e̶r̶.̶

I trashed my post because I think this guy is s******** us. Are there any honest people left?

+1 to anyone who tries to read that.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z6NyOvgzG1o (Z6NyOvgzG1o)

[LulzSect]

first be a beta poster

then chummy up to the insecure fat girl as she loses weight

meet up IRL and offer to play WoW together

take her to Apple bees, waters only

get her drunk at home

pooper

mad nerds err wherrre

[a_gnoll_pup]

Good thread until this was posted... not funny.

http://knowyourmeme.com/memes/shit-was-so-cash-copypasta

[Weekapaug]

A+ thread.

[mtb tripper]

A+ thread.

[Weekapaug]

Since the topic comes up, thought I would share something funny from a couple weekends ago...

Buddy and I are sitting at the bar in the neighborhood joint around last call. Not the normal neighborhood joint but the kind of sketchy place next door that's usually full of drunk kids and randoms. Generally if you are in there it's late and you are probably coming from someplace else and you are housed. If you aren't you usually are when you leave. On this particular night we weren't, just out late so watching the drunks was kind of funny. No judgements, that's usually us, just wasn't that night.

The owner who was bartending calls last call. This dude comes up and orders another round for his crew as did a few other people. Dude says something that is of interest to my buddy and me and turns out we all have this thing in common. Dude delivers the drinks and comes back to talk to us. Since we are all about to get thrown out we decide to exchange numbers and hang out another time. Which we do. Bartender brings dude his tab. At this point the music is off and the ugly lights are up. Bartender wants us all to wrap it up and get out.

Right then, out of nowhere, this random girl comes up and wraps her arms around dude. I assume they'd been hanging out. Especially when she says loud enough for the whole bar to hear "I want you to slap my face with your cock." "Cum on my face." Bartender's standing there like pay me dammit. Dude doesn't really know what to say and can't move with this girls arms locked around him. She goes on "I want you to fuck me. Hard!" Dude says "Oh I absolutely will, baby, in 15 mins but I've got to pay our tab first." Lol.

My buddy was talking to some people so I walked outside and waited for him. He comes out and I ask him if he caught all that. He says "Oh yeah, when I walked out I shook dudes hand and told him nice to meet him, she stuck her tongue down my throat and then practically yells 'I have a husband!'"

Funny part is the next morning I wake up and phone shows where dude called. I text him asking what'd up. He says sorry, butt dial. I say no worries, lets hang out sometime. He replies "Absolutely. ____ (name of bar) all the way!"

Turns out he just moved here and it was his first time in the place. No wonder he's all about it.

Remember fellas, even if you have no game, one day you may run into drunk, horny, married broads looking to get even with their husbands. :p. I'd love to know what hers did to deserve all that.

[Nocsucow]

Hey Faggots,

My name is John, and I hate every single one of you. All of you are fat, retarded, no-lifes who spend every second of their day looking at stupid ass pictures. You are everything bad in the world. Honestly, have any of you ever gotten any pussy? I mean, I guess it’s fun making fun of people because of your own insecurities, but you all take to a whole new level. This is even worse than jerking off to pictures on facebook.

Don’t be a stranger. Just hit me with your best shot. I’m pretty much perfect. I was captain of the football team, and starter on my basketball team. What sports do you play, other than “jack off to naked drawn Japanese people”? I also get straight A’s, and have a banging hot girlfriend (She just blew me; Shit was SO cash). You are all faggots who should just kill yourselves. Thanks for listening.

http://i2.kym-cdn.com/entries/icons/original/000/002/901/OrigCash.jpg

Pic Related: It’s me and my bitch

didnt know pauly D played on our server ... first brad .. now pauly D .. P99 is gonna be famous

[Ahldagor]

op:
http://img3.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20120131221341/pokemontowerdefense/images/2/27/You_gonna_get_raped.jpg